They say the internet is a divisive place but we can all agree every other driver on the road is useless.
You’ve got those people that drive at 20mph on the motorway, the idiots that drive 90mph in residential areas, people that don’t know what indicators are, and a particular speciality around here in Manchester – the arseholes who think traffic lights are only for decorative purposes.
Obsessive horn thumpers, those oblivious to what rear-view mirrors are for, there’s a special place in hell for those oblivious to other drivers on the road and pedestrians that dare to cross to the other side. The list goes on and on and on.
But what if you could do something about one of my personal pet peeves when behind the wheel: those who don’t realise full-beam headlights can be dipped.
You know, you’re driving along, as a good driver you look in your wing-mirror, then ‘Ah you bastard, why are you trying to burn out my corneas?!’
I’m eloquent with my road rage. I once got cut-up by a white van so I leaned out the window and yelled, ‘What the fuck are you playing at, mate?’ It was the ‘mate’ that really calmed the situation.
Anyway, these stickers will probably have the same effect. Or hopefully, if the offending driver is scared of Asian horror movies, make them soil themselves. That’s karma.
They’re supposed to light up when hit with full-beam lights, sending drivers behind you into a fit of fear and panic, which doesn’t really sound like a very good idea.
And they’re supposed to be available on Amazon, but they don’t apparently ship to the UK, so if anyone in China fancies arranging collection and postage for me, I’d love to give these an actual review. I also need a car.
Worth a try.
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.