German University Is Offering Grants To People Who Want To Do Absolutely Nothing
Are you gifted in the field of doing nothing? Are you a trademark couch potato? Do you aspire to untapped realms of laziness? Well, here’s a project for you.
The University of Fine Arts in Hamburg, Germany, is offering highly-exclusive paid scholarships ‘in idleness’ for a project examining laziness and how a lack of ambition the world around us.
We’re all prone to a relaxing day here and there. But this study calls for a different breed of not being arsed, the apex layabouts – feel free to apply, but only three people will secure a €1,600 (£1,450) grant.
As you read this, whether you’re at your desk, on the train, slouching on the couch or comfy in bed, you may be thinking: I’d be great at being a lazy b*stard.
Well, be that as it may, you’ll need to convince the academics in charge of the project that you’re the right person for the job. The application form lists two questions: ‘What do you not want to do?’ and ‘Why is it important not to do this thing in particular?’
Professor Friedrich von Borries, who designed the project, posits that having a better understanding of laziness, and how we all respond to hustling, bustling day-to-day schedules, is key in sparking an ‘eco-social’ transformation. He said, ‘It is about exiting the constant success spiral, getting off life’s hamster wheel.’
In an interview with the country’s Deutsche Welle broadcaster, as per The Independent, the professor explained:
If we want to live in a society that consumes less energy, wastes fewer resources, this is not the right system of values. Wouldn’t it be nicer to gain social prestige by saying: ‘I have time to dream … meet friends, put up my feet – I have time to do nothing?’ The search for success never ends, even if people have financial security.
Von Borries’ study will be part of the School of Inconsequentiality: Towards A Better Life exhibition, set to showcase at the University of Fine Arts next year.
Naturally, some are sceptical that such a study is worthwhile in the first place – aka, the type of people who don’t let lazy folks be lazy. Germany’s Taxpayers’ Association has even demanded to know who is financing the project.
There’s being lazy, then there’s doing absolutely nothing at all – like Muhammad Didit, an Indonesian YouTuber who racked up three million views by sitting staring into space, with nothing but his thoughts and the camera to keep him company.
Do you have what it takes to earn the idleness grant? Lazy participants from all across Germany are encouraged to submit their ‘active inactivity’ pitches before September 15.
If you have a story you want to tell, send it to UNILAD via [email protected]
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