Girl On Blind Date ‘Dies Inside’ After Guy Makes Hilarious Confession

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blind date coupleJubilee/YouTube

You’ve got to be brave to go on a blind date, or go speed dating, or socialise with people you’ve never met before, or just find the motivation to leave the house everyday.

But to go blind speed dating, and have the whole procedure filmed, is enough to give anyone palpitations, surely?

One company challenged a woman to speed date 10 different guys, with the aim of narrowing it down to that one perfect gentleman. The only hitch was that she wouldn’t be able to see any of the guys, only getting to communicate with them through a screen, while the other men waited patiently for their turn to talk to her behind said screen.

The only other hitch was that, after she’d completed the arduous task of getting rid of nine guys, thinking she’d found the one, the fella went and swept the rug from under everyone’s feet. Big time.

You can watch it here (or skip to about 9.40mins to see the reveal):

I feel it’s worth getting the revelatory exchange down on paper, just to really savour the moment:

Joseph: Yoooooo

Alexa: Oh, you’re cute

Joseph: Nice to meet you, how are you?

Alexa: I’m good, how are you?

Joseph: I’m doing well, I’m doing well.

Alexa: I didn’t really envision you looking like anything, but I’m really happy you’re cute.

Joseph: Thank you, I appreciate that! Thank you.

Alexa: Um, yeah, I hope this kind of goes somewhere, I guess?

Joseph: Well… I got a girl!

Alexa: Do you… what? What?!

Joseph: You’re awesome though.

Alexa: Did this just happen?

Joseph: Dang.

It’s at this point the production staff (who really should have done a more thorough job of finding single people) get involved.

Asking Joseph: ‘do you have a girlfriend?’ he cheerfully replies: ‘I do!’. To which the production crew responds: ‘Then why did you show up? We asked for single people!’

Joseph then explains, to an exasperated crew and Alexa:

I told my girlfriend all about it, and she said it sounds like a cool experience.

Well, it’s an experience at least. Though it wouldn’t be the first time someone has lied while on a date, and unfortunately it wont be the last, either.

Going on a blind date? There’s really only one thing you need to check before you head out and definitely meet the love of your life.

Unless you’re a polygamist, make sure you’re single, yeah? Otherwise you’re going to grab the wrong end of the stick, and that stick is more of a great big branch, if not a tree, and it’s awkward as hell to hold.

This guy grabbed it, and he grabbed it good. Was he just looking for some positive reinforcement on his level of cuteness? He seemed really grateful when the girl said he was cute, perhaps that’s all he was looking for?

I’d also really like to know how the conversations with his actual girlfriend went when they spoke about him going speed-dating…

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Charlie Cocksedge

Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.