Food courts. Home to bad lighting, abysmal queues, overpriced fast food, and shit proposals – how fucking romantic.
My ideal proposal would include just the two of us at some tranquil and warm location – a romantic and secluded surprise after a fun day out together. This guys is rather different.
Picture the scene – a busy Brazilian food court. Burgers, hot dogs, wraps, and burritos line the tables as hundreds of people throw their high calorie carbs down their gullets during a break from shopping, according to the Daily Mail.
A lone violinst begins to play beside two girls nibbling away.
Seconds later and a man approaches. Smart casual clutching a bouquet of flowers in one hand, a ring in the other and struts his way over to the table like the cock of the walk.
What could possibly go wrong?
That. That happened. The inevitable. The awkward end to an awkward ask and the pity applause just makes everything so much more miserable.
And as the embarrased girl leaves the embarrassed guy he is merely left to dwell in his own misery – a shattered shell of what once was, defeated.
Poor bastard – and the smug smirk of the violinist doesn’t help either.
Ah well, there’s plenty more fish in the sea, or so they say.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.