Guy Thinks He’s Getting Lucky, Things Quickly Descend Into Living Nightmare


In this social media age it’s easier than ever to catch up and re-unite with old school friends – which is obviously a pretty great thing. 

But what we forget is that some of our ‘friends’ from school might have changed a bit, something redditor RA MellyGibsons knows only too well.

An old friend from elementary school decided to get back in touch with him to rekindle their friendship, but what started out as quite a nice catch-up turned into a complete disaster.

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Like anything in 2016, it all started with an innocent Facebook message:

It started three days ago, when I received a message on Facebook from said girl. It was a pretty casual conversation that lead to the exchange of numbers. She was mentioning that she still had an art project from kindergarten that had a picture of us both on the cover. A little strange, but hey no big deal. (We are both 23 now.)

This kinda thing happens all the time, doesn’t it? Nothing to see here.

But then he gets a cheeky invite to come watch Orange is the New Black and stay overnight, and alarm bells start to ring, as he explains:

The following day it was more small talk about life and what different things we have going on in our lives. She asked if I was into the tv show OITNB and I said yes. She was really into the show and invited me over to watch the old episodes before the new season came out. She told me to stay the night also, which to me meant having a little fun. (Sounds good right?)

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So she’s obviously very keen, but no big deal, right?

So, what happened next?

She continued to text me about coming over to watch the show and after I didn’t respond for 2 whole minutes, she said “fine I guess you don’t want to come over, you took too long to respond.” At this point I can sense a little bit of crazy, but it might still be a fun night. She mentioned that she didn’t want her personal life on blast so to not tell anyone about what we were going to be doing. After a goodnight text, she continued to send 6 more messages before she stopped texting. (Things are getting strange but at the end of the day a little fornication would be nice.)

If only he’d acted on that impulse of thinking she was ‘a little bit crazy’, because shit’s about to escalate quickly.


He continued:

Yesterday morning I get a message from her saying she really really likes me and has ever since kindergarten, so I better not break her heart. I thought to myself, I barely know this girl and she is already talking like this. Huge red flag for me. I decided I am not going to hang out with her. She continues to flood messages in with no response from me. One of the next messages states, “No pressure or anything, but I would fucking hate you if you took my virginity and left me like a fucking dog. Maybe you’re not ready for this.” At this point I am so glad she doesn’t know where I live.

Wow, where the fuck did that come from? She even starts to think their love is written in the stars and starts chatting about ‘horoscope compatibility’.


But it doesn’t stop there:

The waves of messages keep coming in with no response from me. She says she has a present for me. She went to Walgreens and made a copy of the picture of us from kindergarten. She is now talking about horoscope compatibility. 9 hours into the day I still have not responded, she then tells me she is going to call me right at 7pm. I of course, do not answer. At first it was kind of funny seeing how strange this girl was, but now I’m actually creeped out.

We don’t fucking blame you mate – but you’re in too deep now, this is only going to get worse.

He concluded:

She has sent approximately 60 text messages yesterday with no response. She resorted to Facebook messages and called me a coward. The messages have stopped as of midnight. I am scared to even look at my phone anymore. I have not seen this girl since I was in kindergarten. A stage 5 clinger is nothing to mess with.


‘A stage 5 clinger is nothing to mess with’ – advice that we should definitely all take on board.