Why is it, America is known across the globe for having some of the worst TV shows? Oh, it’s because of moments like this.
Sure, America is one of the true kings when it comes to TV. It’s the nation which brought us The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Seven Seconds, Mindhunter. The list goes on, and on, and on.
Yet it’s also the nation which brought us shows such as, Dr. Phil, Cheaters, and of course, The Jerry Springer Show.
In Norway in 2011, the word of the year was ‘sakte-TV’ meaning ‘slow-TV’. Why? Well, recently in Norway, some of the most popular TV shows, with often around half the entire population tuning in, are slow TV.
Such programmes include a minute-by-minute coverage of the seven hour train journey from Bergen to Oslo, or four hours of chopping wood followed by eight hours of the wood burning in a fire place. These are real examples by the way.
In the US, they have this. Jerry Springer. Give me firewood every time.
So as you can see, (in the video above) this is what happened on Jerry Springer recently, when this guy’s girlfriend hooked up with her therapist and mutual friend, Raven.
Then out of nowhere – in true Jerry Springer style – Raven’s on the set. He bounces on with a greasy swagger, wasting absolutely no time before diving in for a quick snog with his mistress, called Harley, in front of her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend – who looks like a hybrid between 2006 Jonah Hill and Adam Duritz – glares at the couple with hatred in his eyes, shaking his head.
Then, blue-haired Harley says:
You [pointing at Raven] make me happy. I think we should, you know, be a thing.
At this, ol’ Raven clenches his teeth and lowers his head as if to say ‘well you’ve got another thing coming Harley girl’.
And she does, as within seconds, Raven explains:
Harley, you know that what we have is something very special, you know we’ve known each other for a long time. You know, like, you support me more than anybody I’ve ever met, especially with my music.
Like, I, I do appreciate you as a friend but I got something to tell you.
Here we go.
Go on Raven, keep explaining:
I’ve kinda been sleeping with your man.
At this point, the crowd bursts into a scene of glorious rapture. Laughing, screams of disbelief, audible shock, the whole lot.
The above video was posted to The Jerry Springer Show’s Facebook page and the comment section is littered with people’s sheer disbelief.
However, the biggest question – for me anyway – is who on Earth actually believes any of this tripe anymore?
Maybe 20 years ago when our brains weren’t completely obliterated into mash, some of these reality shows seemed believable, maybe they were?
But now, come on. Ol’ Jerry is happy giving a handful of cash to these folks and a platform for them to spout their gibberish in exchange for a larger sum of money for himself.
I really can’t imagine the storylines shows like this will be broadcasting in another ten years. God help us.
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Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.