Kate Middleton gave birth to a boy a week ago. A few days later, he was named Louis Arthur Charles of Cambridge. He’s the fifth in line to the throne.
By the mere act of his birth, Louis’ life will be one which none of us, or at least none of the people I imagine reading this, will ever experience.
It’ll be one of lavishness, of riches, of dinners, balls, state visits, and dressing up in old army uniforms.
Apparently though, the real question here is just how on Earth do you pronounce his name. Is it Louis, Lewis, Lewes, or Looooooooweeeeeeeeeee.
Well let’s waste no more time and introduce you to his mother, and she can instruct you on the perfect way to pronounce your week-old superior prince’s name.
Like a time-travelling Rachel Riley, here’s Kate Middleton circa 2011 on her wedding day, and if you skip to 4.30 in the video, she’ll be just about ready to tell you how to pronounce her third child’s name:
But but but, how? Louis wasn’t born then. I know. But because the Royal Family seem to name all their spawn with the same handful of names their ancestors had before them, it should come as no surprise for you to learn Prince William’s name also has a Louis in it.
Give me a Prince Keith any day!
So that’s what his name is. Loowee. Prince Loowee. Hilarious.
Other famous Loowee’s include Loowee Tomlinson, Loowee Walsh, Loowee Theroux, and Loowee Vuitton to name but a few.
In other news, over the weekend, an image of Prince William went viral for all the right reasons – take a gander below:
That’s right. Prince William, a new father for God’s sake, flipping off the press just moments after the birth of his third child.
Absolutely abhorrent, isn’t it. Who, just who does he think he is? You can even see a look of smug confidence in his face too, as if he’s saying, ‘Come on mate, try it, I’m Prince William, I’m untouchable, mate.’
Now for the reality!
In case you didn’t realise, the above photo is just an incredibly timed photograph, which shows William from an angle of perfect f*ck-lessness.
So what’s the real story here? Turns out Prince Willy was joyfully strolling out of the Lindo Wing of St. Mary’s Hospital after the birth of his son, the now named, Prince Louis.
As he was walking to his car, William told reporters:
We are very happy, very delighted – thrice the worry now!
Upon saying the word ‘thrice’, William lifted three fingers to the press to signify his three children.
While it was an innocent enough gesture, from one angle William looks like he’s saying less ‘thrice’ and more ‘p*ss off’.
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Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.