You’ve heard of people going to the hospital for unusual injuries before; hands superglued together by mistake, hands sliced open in cooking mishaps, Lego stuck up noses…
Okay, full disclosure – that last one happened to my sister when we were younger. Either way though, none of those are any match for what I’m about to tell you.
Because one man had to have emergency surgery recently for the most bizarre reason – that being he had gotten a can of air freshener stuck up his bum and couldn’t get it out.
Yikes. The 40-year-old was rushed to the Francisco Moscoso Puello Hospital in the capital of the Dominican Republic, Santo Domingo, after the spray can of Glade became stuck.
The unnamed man immediately underwent surgery for the mishap, which his wife claims happened after she put the Glade product up her husband’s bum at his request during sex.
C’mon guys, an air freshener? Aren’t there other, more sexy things you could be using? Oh well, at least they’re being hygienic I guess…
Local media reported the surgery took around two hours and was successful, with a hospital spokesperson saying the unknown man is stable and is recovering after the unfortunate incident.
The statement also said that similar cases are not uncommon, but they typically involve sex toys like dildos and various bottles, while the spokesperson added that people have also been admitted to hospital with vegetables such as eggplants (aubergines) inside them. I don’t even want to know…
A doctor told local media that hospital staff do not talk about such incidents at work, as it could cause embarrassment and lead to fewer people coming forward with their sex-related injuries, especially when involving women.
Health advisers also said that introducing objects into the body for sexual gratification is a potentially dangerous practice that could affect someone’s health and long-term sex life.
Medical specialists warned it could cause haemorrhaging, intestinal damage or other injuries – so the man was lucky to come away unscathed.
And this isn’t the first time someone has used a bottle of air freshener for an usual task. Last year, a bank robber used a bottle of Febreze to threaten staff in an attempt to steal money.
Simon Jones, 38, waited in line for 15 minutes at the NatWest in Bishop Auckland, County Durham, wearing blue latex gloves, a pulled up hooded top, a face mask and dark glasses.
When he reached the front of the queue he handed a note to the cashier, stating the Febreze bottle contained acid and he wasn’t afraid to use it.
The incident occurred in May, and the police immediately enlisted the public’s help to find the suspect by releasing an image which was captured by a witness.
As reported by the Mirror, Jones was arrested just a few hours later when a member of the public reported seeing the car to the police. The 38-year-old was jailed for 40 months following the raid.
The moral of the story here is to maybe stop using air fresheners for any reason other than why they were created.
I reckon that’ll be a good start, don’t you?
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