Just when you think you’ve heard all the elaborate proposal stories out there, a man pops the question by hiding the ring in his penis. Don’t worry, I’m just as confused as you are.
The baffling story was shared on the Facebook group ‘That’s it, I’m wedding shaming’, which, as you can guess from the title, is a page dedicated to making fun of people’s weird and unfortunate wedding-related situations.
Just so you get a clearer idea of the typical kind of content seen on the page, its description reads:
Do you know someone who became a huge bridezilla after her engagement and burned bridges with all of her friends because they wouldn’t foot the bill for her wedding dress? Post that garbage here and let’s have a laugh, my dudes.
Stories about someone turning into a bridezilla are fairly easy to get your head around, but a story about proposing with the ring in a penis? That’s something that takes more time to process.
According to the Metro, the engagement story was originally shared back in 2015, but someone has taken a screenshot of the excited bride-to-be’s announcement and recently shared it to the wedding shaming page, probably with the hopes that another member could shed some light on the exact logistics involved.
The woman’s extremely descriptive post read:
Last night, he asked me to blow him. I put my hands on his c*** and this is what I pulled out. He is truly a blessing in my life. I wouldn’t ask for anything else.
In a perfect relationship, don’t date a broke f*** and if you give him the best head he’ll ever get, cook him food and don’t be a c***. You might get a 1.6c diamond too.
I mean, you might, but it’s safe to say her tips for getting engaged are not foolproof.
I’d take the tale with a pinch of salt; I’ve never known anyone share the happy news of their engagement in such graphic detail, especially on social media for the world to see. Is that the same way she phrased it when recalling the moment to her family?
The story might have been fabricated just to get us all questioning everything we know about biology – but I admit, it’s worked.
If it is true, then we need to back to the most pressing question provoked by this story; where exactly was the ring hidden? She put her hands on his penis and pulled the ring out? Out of where exactly? If it was a 1.6 carat diamond like she was bragging about, that must have been a painful procedure.
Members of the Facebook group have tried desperately to come up with possible scenarios as to how the ring was found, with one person writing:
I’m really confused.
Is he uncut with a foreskin the size of Canada that he fit a ring inside? Did he put the ring around his penis? I MUST KNOW.
I think everyone’s on the same page with their desire to know the truth, but with no other information to go on, I think we’re going to have to accept the story as one of life’s great mysteries.
If you have a story you want to tell, send it to [email protected]
Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.