Childbirth is a beautiful, natural, pure experience – according to popular wisdom and those who never have had to do it.
Mothers, on the other hand, know it can be painful and long and a really crappy experience – you just hope the sprog at the end is worth it.
One mum who gets this more than most is Issy Fox, 28, who has been through the ringer with her birthing experience after she pooped with every contraction – and couldn’t stop.
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Today is the international day of the midwife and with every #thankyoumidwife shared @pampersworld are going to donate £1 to the Benevolent Fund at the Royal College of Midwives as well as making over the staff rooms of the most thanked hospitals. I want to thank the midwife who tirelessly cleaned up my sh*t and helped me keep a bit of dignity, the midwife who relentlessly watched our heart rates fluctuate and kept us calm as well as reassured and cared for my Mum and Luke and not to mention my community midwife who didn’t mind having a look at my manky faj during every visit #ChannelMum #mumvillage #calmversations #simpleeveryday #ourcandidlife #myeverydaymagic #extraordinarylife #parenthoodmoments #teammotherly #momentsinmotherhood #labour
Writing an entry for the Huffington Post, Issy recalled:
The midwife asked me to go and provide a wee sample – and this is when the poo started. I couldn’t help but push a poo out into the tray because of all the pressure.
The midwives just laughed it off and waited for me to just provide some pee.
By 7am my contractions were getting really close together and causing a lot of pressure – I was pooing with every contraction and the midwives were very subtly swiping it away.
Unfortunately, my arse was facing Luke most of the time so he also had the pleasure of watching a log fall out every minute or so.
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Being a parent sometimes means watching cups of coffee go cold, being the last to get ready and spending hours getting screamed at but amongst the stress and self pity I sometimes feel for myself in these situations there’s the comfort that I’m his comfort and a good old snuggle always sees him right in the end #ChannelMum #calmversations #simpleeveryday #ourcandidlife #myeverydaymagic #extraordinarylife #parenthoodmoments #teammotherly #momentsinmotherhood
I began pushing – and pooing. The baby was still not budging and was back to back so I needed forceps. The insertion of the forceps was probably the one time I didn’t think I’d be able to handle the pain but I got through it and pushed with everything I had.
I tore and exploded poo, womb stuff and blood all over the doctor, walls and floor.
My baby landed on top of me covered in gunk and opened his little eyes and looked at me. He was covered in my poo, his poo, blood and god knows what else. My first words were: ‘I love you, but you’re disgusting’.
Issy concluded by saying she understands there is ‘little dignity in childbirth’ but she was happier than ever because all she wanted was ‘for my son to get out safely’.
Congrats to the new mum!
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A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.