One in four Brits already has a plan in place in case of a zombie apocalypse, a study has shown.
Research also found around one in six people have considered putting together a survival kit for such an instance.
Among the most common items we would rush to shove into a bag before escaping an invasion of the walking dead are food, water, weapons, condoms, tampons and a first aid kit. As well as water bottles, torches and matches.
The bad news is, despite being in the advanced stages of preparation, close to one in ten believe they may only be able to live for a week in a post-apocalyptic world.
Most believe it will all kick off in New York City, with London second on the list.
According to Professor Lewis Dartnell – a zombie expert – to survive a zombie apocalypse your first focus should be getting out of populated areas, not head to the loft which was the first choice of one in three who took part in the research.
Not only will they become the densest concentrations of zombies, but modern urbanised areas simply won’t be habitable once the technological bubble that supports them disappears: no electricity, running water or gas.
Very large numbers of people would succumb almost immediately in the packed cities. The ‘average’ survival time would be a matter of days.
Leave your house behind and head for isolation and make your first destination a camping shop for warm clothing, waterproofs and some sturdy hiking boots.
Rely on a car GPS device instead of smart phone maps – you’ll soon be losing phone signal when power grids go down.
Dartnell, who’s a professor of science communication at the University of Westminster, and wrote The Knowledge: How to Rebuild our World from Scratch, added:
Chapstick, Vaseline and hairspray are all great for helping get a fire started in difficult conditions.
With regard to weapons I suggest relying on your own ingenuity and resourcefulness, fashioning what you need from metal pipes or nails.
The research, commissioned by NOW TV to celebrate the return of The Walking Dead, also found, out of 2,000 people, the average adult believes they could evade a zombie bite for just over nine weeks, 13 hours and 26 minutes.
Some more pieces of sound advice from Prof. Dartnell were:
Buy iodine tablets to purify water once the taps run dry. There’s no point in surviving a zombie attack if you’re just going to die from a waterborne disease.
A plastic bottle must become your new best friend. If it’s summer, disinfecting drinking water by simply leaving it in the sun for a day can become a regular part of your routine (the UV rays kill any germs: a handy trick known as solar disinfection)
An unraveled tampon makes an ideal dressing to stop a wound bleeding, and it’s perfect kindling for starting a fire.
A condom can hold over a gallon of water. Don’t let it rupture in your bag.
Head into the countryside and find traditional buildings with fireplaces and wells. A seaside region near a large wood is your ideal new home, offering you access to a wide range of natural resources.
Stick together – you’ll never survive the apocalypse as a lone wolf. There’s safety in numbers, but be careful who you pick as friends.
Fingers crossed it won’t ever come to this, and we won’t need to escape the zombie apocalypse any time soon. Then again, with Brexit looming, anything could happen…
Stream season 9 of The Walking Dead now on NOW TV with a contract-free Entertainment Pass. The show returns Mondays at 9pm on FOX.
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.