When Good Charlotte sang about the Lifestyles of The Rich And Famous back in 2002 they had no idea how crazy celebrity culture was going to become.
Firstly Keeping Up With The Kardashians was five years away from being aired back when the Madden twins first sang their classic pop-punk anthem.
But now we live in a world dominated by the ever-present Kardashian clan. Soon the letter ‘c’ will be removed from the alphabet completely and replaced with a Kapital ‘K’.
This komplete kontrol of modern kulture (okay, I’ll stop doing it now) means the Kardashian ladies have pulled in a lot of cash and live a life most of us can barely even imagine.
The ‘Superstar waterfront Mansion’ allows you to ‘live like the Stars!’ for an incredibly reasonable £6,470 ($8,238) per night.
I’ve done some sums and the average UK wage would get you 3 days 4 hours and 48 minutes inside this house.
But you’d have to hope the Airbnb host left some food in the fridge because you’d have just spent all your money for the entire year on this shiny white box.
Also you wouldn’t be able to pay the £404 ($514) cleaning charge when you left.
Error £404 Not Found.
On a side note, the £404 cleaning fee alone is more than I spend on rent each month for a spacious bedroom in delightful South Manchester.
Not that I’m bragging Kylie – just saying maybe shop around a bit if you want a bargain.
Kylie’s cosy pad does have something called a ‘boat lift’. I’ve been trying to work out what one of those is for a while and still can’t understand it at all.
I can’t think of a single instance where lifting a boat up would be better than just climbing out of it. Unless you need to scrape some barnacles off the bottom or something?
I’ll keep checking back on Kylie’s Instagram to see if she gets up to any regular boat maintenance.
For your money you do get 6 waterfront bedrooms on Hibiscus Island in Miami. Which I have to assume is a nice bit of Miami.
It’s probably the bit that Will Smith was singing about back in his 1997 pop classic Miami.
If I’d known waterfront properties could command such outrageous prices I never would have gotten the council to fix that leak under our garden path.
It’s not just near some water though, this house also boasts an ‘expansive rooftop lounge with 360 degree views’.
On a side note, all houses have 360 views if you stand on the fucking roof.
I’m not saying this house isn’t nice, but it’s not £6k a day nice.
Then again, Kylie Jenner almost certainly didn’t pay that either, she probably turned up for a day or two and shot some bikini Instagrams in the pool so the Airbnb host could get some publicity for his stupid house that he’s massively overvalued.
Guess I never will get to see Kylie doing scraping those barnacles after all.