Oi, stop dumping all your rubbish on the beach and in the sea. Another piece of shocking footage has emerged and I’m getting bored of it all.
It’s a kink, isn’t it? That can be the only explanation why people continue to litter all over the shop in an age when every Tom, Dick and Harry is clued up on the state of plastic pollution.
Surely to God laziness doesn’t stretch this far.
I mean, have a look yourself. The mind boggles:
Here’s the thing, guys: plastic is strong, flexible and durable which makes it highly useful for everyday use. However it also means it never really breaks down. Did you know a plastic bottle can last for 450 years in a marine environment? No, you didn’t. You learnt it from me, your teacher, Mr. Teal. Now fasten up your f***ing tie.
Only joking, this information comes courtesy of Surfers Against Sewage (SAS) who enlightened me as to how plastic will slowly fragment into smaller and smaller pieces, eventually becoming microscopic in size but without ever truly going away. Think about that. Every single piece of plastic ever made is still here with us in some form or another.
How does it get in the sea? Two-thirds of it comes straight from land based sources: litter being left on the beach or thrown down rivers and drains from litter being dropped in towns and cities. It comes from industry spills, badly managed landfill sites and bins near the coast or by being flushed down the bog, too. Essentially: everywhere.
There is approximately – you might wanna put on your brown trousers for this one – 51 trillion (TRILLION!) microscopic pieces of plastic, weighing 269,000 tons. That is about the same as 1345 adult blue whales, for God’s sake. Oh, and 500 times the number of stars in our galaxy. Christ almighty just recycle your plastic.
Hey, I hear you saying, I live in the midlands. Does this affect me?
First of all, God speed. I hope you move away ASAP. Secondly, with 1 in 3 fish caught for human consumption now containing plastic, the question is no longer are we eating plastic but is it really bad for us? ‘In seawater plastic absorbs chemicals like PCB’s and DDT’s which have been linked to endocrine disruption and even some cancers, becoming more powerful as they work their way up the food chain,’ SAS write.
So what’s the issue then? Let’s just scoop it all out of the sea. Problem solved!
What are you, five? This notion is frankly impossible and you should be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting it to be logical. For a start, only 1% of marine litter floats, with the vast majority sinking to the sea floor. Even if we tried to ‘scoop’ up that 1%, in international waters who’d cough up the wonga? On top of that, as I said earlier, the majority of it is microscopic.
All we can do at this point kids, is stop using and dumping so much plastic. I mean it. Swear to God, if I catch anyone, anyone, littering on the beaches of Yorkshire (I’m talking about Whitby, Bridlington, Scarborough, Filey – all breathtaking places) sparks will fly.
If you have a story you’d like to tell, contact UNILAD, via [email protected]