The Illuminati Have Gone Public With A Website And You Can Join

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Wikimedia/illuminatiofficial.org

The problem with secret societies that control the world is that they’re so damn hard to join.

But not anymore, because the Illuminati are opening their doors to members via an ‘official’ website which claims to allow free membership. Jolly good of them.

Not only are they refusing donations, they are also trying to change their negative image, reports the Daily Express.

Check out their slick promo footage…

The ‘about us’ section of illuminatiofficial.org explains:

Since the formation of the Illuminati, many citizens have inaccurately portrayed our organization in a negative manner. These misconceptions have been perpetuated for centuries through videos, photos, articles, books, and unofficial online resources claiming to understand our mission and members.

In creating this online destination, we strive to alleviate the concerns voiced by the people of this planet and provide insight into our goals and operations.

Bit of a shit secret society if they’re wanting to provide insight… no?

They’ve also sought to distance themselves from rumours about human sacrifice:

For anyone to claim that the Illuminati is affiliated with a religious belief — be it God or Satan, Baphomet or Baal — undermines the very purpose of our independence from human divisions.

We neither accept nor deny any deity and hold none to be higher than any other. We operate solely for the benefit of the human species we have been entrusted to protect.

Even more heinous rumours have been attributed to our organisation, including human sacrifices and violent rituals.

While our individual members are allowed to serve any deity they choose, the Illuminati as a whole is only dedicated to the preservation of the human species. Therefore, human sacrifices or any practice that does not serve the betterment of mankind would counter everything we represent, and are thus prohibited.

Good to know.

illuminatiofficial.org

A lot of people are calling BS on the site though – shock horror – as it plugs THE FIRST TESTAMENT OF THE ILLUMINATI, a book available via Amazon at just under $10 for a hard copy.

The book has a mixture of reviews ranging from those who actually think it’s legit, to others who are not quite so convinced.

BM Sandy wrote, “This book is a joke. Whoever wrote this is trying to get me to believe that one of the most secretive and elusive organisations in the entire world published a 30-page book, written at 3rd grade level, with multiple grammar or spelling issues.”

Yeah, not convinced, though one of our members of staff has joined and will be providing an update as and when he becomes a lizard alien overlord. To be continued…


Kieron Curtis

Kieron Curtis

An NCTJ Journalist with an MA in Sports Journalism, Kieron is an experienced social media journalist who has worked in the industry since 2015. His experience includes work with ITN, the MEN, WISH/WIRE/TOWER FM, and 8:50 Sports Digest... not forgetting his time at ASDA.