The Rock Takes His Baby Kevin Hart Trolling To The Next Level

rock dwayne johnson kevin hart central intelligenceUniversal Pictures

There are few things in life which are as strong as a Hollywood bromance.

While we wind ourselves up watching Z-listers prune themselves and poke one other on Love Island and watch Kardashians talk about being Kardashians or whatever it is they do on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, it’s easy to forget there are some individuals who have achieved success through sheer hard work, persistence, world class bants and literally  thousands of cans of whoop ass.

So when our focus returns to famous people who are talented at doing stuff being all bezzies it’s really nice to bask in the glow of their good feels.

The Rock/Instagram

It’s why every time Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively get all shirty with each other on social media we lap it up. We want to be talented, funny, loveable, good looking and celebrated. Not self loathing no-goodniks with no humour, self awareness or body hair.

While Canada’s best export since Terrence and Phillip give us #couplegoals, Hollywood’s Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Kevin Hart give us something to aim for in our #platonicrelationshipgoals.

Things started kicking off between the Central Intelligence and Jumanji stars in the new year when Dwayne announced the birth of his daughter Tiana Gia Johnson on Instagram with a pic of the baby and her proud dad.

Kevin followed this up posting a photoshopped image of his face over Tiana’s and, well, check it out, it’s pretty wrong.

The Internet will forever be undefeated ????? This is hilarious as hell ?????

A post shared by Kevin Hart (@kevinhart4real) on

The Rock replied reposting the image with his own lullaby for his friend:

To my beloved son, @kevinhart4real
Twinkle Twinkle little Hart,
I just don’t know where to start,
Daddy will always love and protect your tiny little soul,
Even though you were delivered directly out of the butthole.
#Shhhh #JustShutYourLittleMouth#AndGoNightNight #OnDaddysPecMeat

Hate to be the poetry pedant here, but the meter would’ve flowed better without the ‘of’ in the last line. Great use of the word ‘butthole’, though.

Anyhoo, a short three months later Kevin took to Instagram to get his revenge, and, well, if you didn’t think adult/baby photoshops weren’t somewhat disturbing then you probably need a good talking to.

Kevin didn’t hold back in the caption either:

Long talk with this little big jackass last night about the business & how hard we work & setting new goals for ourselves and also making 2018 possibly our biggest year yet. He got so excited because we started talking about Jumanji 2 & doing another movie together that I had to pop him in the mouth and tell him to shut the f*ck up! The bottom line his that Kids will be Kids….I’m taking him to Disney land today to apologize. Good morning world HAPPY TUESDAY

#HardestWorkersInTheRoom #MyGuy #TheInternetIsUndefeated ….He’s also a slobbering baby which is annoying as hell…I think it’s the protein shakes ….Also my post is funnier because you can tell that I just smacked the sh*t out of him in this photo. He’s also the first baby born in the world with grey hair. We are going to make a sh*t load of money together #HeWontStopDinkingMilk #HisNickNameIsBabyBigHead

Sidestepping the issue of Kevin Hart beating fictional professional wrestlers turned actors turned babies, this is possibly the most inspiring use of technology ever.

Until today, that is. Because earlier this afternoon, The Rock posted footage of what it would look like to have an actual tiny baby Kevin Hart in video form, captioning the post ‘I [heart] this little dried up piece of gremlin sh*t’.

We nod in appreciation to Adam The Creator who made the vid and will probably keep us from sleeping for the next few days.

Kevin, we await your response.

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