Corporate banking giants Deutsche Bank have revealed the best cities in the world to live in.
Shockingly Blaenau Gwent in Wales doesn’t feature on the list, despite the fact that it has the most Wetherspoons per person of anywhere in the world. I can only assume the banking colossus was using some other metric to work out what made a place desirable.
According to Business Insider they were actually checking the quality of life by crowd souring incredibly boring information on: Purchasing Power, Safety, Health Care, Cost of Living, Property Price to Income Ratio, Traffic Commute Time, Pollution, and Climate.
I guess Wetherspoons would fall into ‘Cost of Living’ and maybe ‘Climate’ because they always have a welcoming atmosphere.
So here are the top ten places for a good life according to Deutsche Bank:
10. Sydney, Australia
They’ve got their own singing spaceship thing in the harbour and I hear the weather is nice. But what good is nice weather without a Wetherspoons beer garden?
9. Amsterdam, Netherlands
I went to Amsterdam once, after a trip to a coffee shop it took me forty minutes of being completely baffled by Toy Story 2 to realise that I was watching it in Dutch. Then I realised why those brownies were so expensive. Left me hungry for a Curry Club Thursday.
8. Boston, USA
Boston once threw a load of tea into the sea. As punishment for their heinous crime there is not a single Wetherspoons for thousands of miles.
7. Ottawa, Canada
This is the capital of Canada, I’m pretty sure its only on this list because Justin Trudeau lives there – it is actually impossible to hate Justin Trudeau, he’s more popular than the 2 for £5 deal on Desperados.
6. Copenhagen, Denmark
Copenhagen is on an island, which would be perfect for Fish Fridays but they don’t have any Wetherspoons so they’re forced to eat at one of their many Michelin starred restaurants.
5. Zurich, Switzerland
Switzerland famously stayed neutral through both world wars making it the country sized equivalent of that one mate who refuses to go in on a round and buys all his own drinks all night.
4. Melbourne, Australia
Australia’s second largest city now gets to bully it’s bigger brother because it has achieved more than they have. Which is often how it goes with siblings in my experience.
3. Vienna, Austria
Vienna is the highest ranked non-English speaking city on this list, famed for hosting many composers including Ludwig van Beethoven and Johannes Brahms – which means nothing to me because Wetherspoons doesn’t play any music to save on the licencing.
2. Edinburgh, UK
Edinburgh has nine Wetherspoons.
1. Wellington, New Zealand
According to Deutsche Bank this is the best place to live in the world, and to be fair it does sound really damn nice. New Zealand’s capital has the least pollution of any city ranked and is a haven for extreme sports and breathtaking scenery.
Maybe if I moved to Wellington I’d spend my time mountain biking and paragliding instead of sitting in work wishing I was in Wetherspoons.