In the year of 2016, when vagina beer is a legit thing, we also have a world rife with people who are essentially rich for nothing – Kim Kardashian, the Rich Kids of Instagram, reality stars – the list goes on.
But who truly are the richest people of all time?
Well, according to the good people at Time Magazine, it’s these guys – and they are/were all annoyingly loaded.
Check them out below organised from lowest to highest.
Genghis Khan owned the largest empire in history. Need I say more?
At one point, the Mongol Empire controlled over 12,741,371 square miles of land, which meant that Khan was worth a lot of dough.
However, despite this, he insisted on nothing luxurious – and his generosity brought a lot to his influence over the people of his empire.
When he died, he was wrapped in felt and buried just like any other man at that time.
Another interesting fact about Genghis Khan is that still to this day there are over 16 million direct descendants of his. Woah!
This list truly wouldn’t be complete without Bill Gates.
As the richest living person, Forbes has estimated that the founder of Microsoft is worth $78.9 billion (£55.6bn).
That’s an astonishing $8 billion more than the second richest living person in the world…
You’re probably wondering who the hell Alan Rufus is. Well, it turns out he was a nephew of William The Conqueror.
Alan Rufus – also known as Alan the Red – was a major figure in the Norman conquest with his uncle, and was likely to have fought at the Battle of Hastings.
When he died he had £11,000 to his name.
It doesn’t sound like all that much and nowhere near enough to make this list. But this was in 1093AD and in today’s money, that mere 11 grand is the equivalent of $194 billion (£136bn).
John D Rockefeller
John D Rockefeller is probably, in my opinion anyhow, the most famous rich guy to have ever lived.
Back at the birth of the oiling industry, Rockefeller began investing. By 1880, his Standard Oil company owned over 90 per cent of all American oil production.
According to his obituary, Rockefeller was worth $1.5 billion in 1918, which equates to about $341 billion (£241bn) in today’s cash.
This Scotsman made his fortune in the U.S. when he sold his company, U.S Steel, to J.P Morgan for $480 million (£338m) in 1901 – which in today’s cash would be more along the lines of $372 billion (£262bn).
Though Stalin is a figure of continued debate, he was undeniably one of the richest dictators of all time.
It is apparently impossible to separate Stalin’s wealth from the wealth of the Soviet Union – but this doesn’t mean that he was penniless in the slightest.
At one point, it is rumoured that the USSR pocketed $7.5 trillion dollars (£5.2tr), and although that money is not essentially all Stalin’s, as leader of the USSR he had the ultimate say in where that money went and what it was spent on.
The most famous emperor of India’s Mughal dynasty, Akbar ruled the empire when it was accountable for a quarter of the world’s economy.
Apparently, Akbar’s lavish lifestyle made even the European rulers’ extravagant lifestyles appear shabby.
Emperor Shenzong owned the Chinese Song Dynasty when it was one of the world’s most economically dominant empires in all of history.
At one point, the empire owned between 25 and 30 per cent of all the world’s economic output.
That meant a shit-ton of disposable income for little Shenzong.
Augustus Caesar is probably most famous as being the founder of the Roman Empire – and you’d imagine that alone is pretty hard to top.
But did you know that at one point in his life he owned the equivalent of about $4.6 trillion dollars (£3.2tr) in today’s money?
Professor Ian Morris added that Caesar ‘personally owned all of Egypt’. Damn Caesar!
Finally, we come to Mansa Musa – the richest of the rich. Musa was so rich, nobody in the world can even begin to calculate his wealth.
Originally from Mali, Musa was king of Timbuktu, and his African kingdom was arguably the largest producer of gold in the world.
When he went on a pilgrimage to Mecca, there are tales of his spendings causing a recession in Egypt.
According to Rudolph Ware, a professor of history at the University of Michigan, Musa’s riches were so crazy that people struggled to even describe them.
So there you have it. I hope this article makes you feel a little bit better about having to count your pennies as you hit the town tonight…
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.