Most guys – and a lot of girls – would love to meet Shakira, bask in her glorious glow and dazzle her with endless charming witticisms.
She’s talented, beautiful and can swag loads of good Zootopia merch. But when push comes to shove, it’s pretty much guaranteed we’d all be starstruck, a little sweaty and talking jibberish.
But not Gerard Piqué – the bloke who actually won 39-year-old Shakira’s affections. Luckily for us, he has revealed how he did it.
Forget the butcher and the buns, angels running through your head all day and stairways to heaven.
The dashing Spanish international footballer, who plays centre back for FC Barcelona, claims he worked his magic on the Colombian songstress using the weather, back when the pair met at the 2010 World Cup.
She arrived in South Africa before us because she was singing at the opening ceremony. I sent her a text asking how the weather was because we were arriving in a few days.
This is a typical stupid question that you write and normally get a response like, ‘it’s cold, bring a coat’.
But then she writes a long paragraph, detailing the change in temperature throughout the day.
I thought, ‘Jesus, this is not normal’. It was in those details that I could tell there was affection.
Arguably, his athleticism and wealth may have done some of the talking for him. But you’ve got to start somewhere.
Although these techniques won’t necessarily work on Shakira herself – she is married to Gerard Piqué and they have two children together – the chat up line might stick with lucky individual that takes your fancy at the local Spoons tonight.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.