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Woman Calls Police After Believing She’d Bought A Penis

by : Emily Brown on : 31 May 2021 15:14
Woman Calls Police After Believing She'd Bought A PenisFacebook/Lamia Singfield

It’s not unusual to return home from the supermarket with a few items you didn’t have on your list, but a woman from Ohio found one purchase so unexpected she had to notify the police. 

Lamia Singfield, from Akron, took to Facebook to share her concerns after she unpacked her package of smoked turkey tails and discovered something that had a disturbing resemblance to a human penis.

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After fishing the phallic-shaped piece of meat out of the beans Singfield had planned to serve for dinner, she told her Facebook Live viewers: ‘I’m calling Save A Lot, this ain’t right. I know what this is.’

Lamia Singfield with penis-shaped meat (Lamia Singfield/Facebook)Lamia Singfield/Facebook

Singfield initially found the situation funny, but the longer she looked at the strange object, the more concerned she got. She decided to call Akron police, who arrived at the home to make a report and take the mysterious lump of meat to the Summit County Medical Examiner’s Office for testing.

According to the report made last year, cited by the Akron Beacon Journal, Singfield told responding officers she was worried the piece of meat she’d bought could be ‘human remains’.

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She commented: ‘I hope it’s not a human, because then somebody is missing something that they need or somebody might be dead. I just want answers.’

Thankfully, Singfield didn’t have to wait long for her answers as just a couple of days later an investigator at the Medical Examiner’s Office confirmed the meat was pork, not human. They also noted that it had a bone in it, meaning that despite resembling a penis, it definitely was not.

Lamia Singfield with penis-shaped meat (Lamia Singfield/Facebook)Lamia Singfield/Facebook

Instead, the investigator said, it was likely a pig tail.

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The store where Singfield had purchased the meat said it had never had issues with the product before, and stated it has a ‘long-held commitment to the highest standards in quality control and work in partnership with our vendors to ensure those standards are upheld.’

It added: 

Issues of quality receive the utmost priority and we take this matter very seriously. We can confirm that we have had no previous quality issues with this item and we have not been contacted by the customer in question or the local authorities regarding this incident. We will take the appropriate action at that time.

Singfield pointed out that regardless of what the meat turned out to be, it was not a turkey tail, saying it looked ‘nothing like the other meat in the package.’

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Emily Brown

Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.

Topics: Food, Ohio

Credits

Akron Beacon Journal
  1. Akron Beacon Journal

    Phallic-shaped meat prompts police investigation