Woman Makes Series Of Unfortunate Discoveries When Boyfriend Moves In During Quarantine
If there’s one way to truly get to know your partner, it’s couple’s quarantine.
In an instant, Brits’ lives changed when Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced compulsory isolation and social distancing measures. Shortly after, Deputy Chief Medical Officer Dr Jenny Harries said couples should ‘test the strength’ of their relationship by either moving in together or staying apart.
For Anna Riley, a reporter over at Hull Live, this gave way to a spur-of-the-moment decision. She invited her boyfriend of eight months, who she met on Bumble, to move in with her so they could still see each other. She hasn’t kicked him out yet – but she’s learned a lot about his daily lifestyle.
The decision to shack up for at least the duration of the country-wide measures was made with logic. ‘It made sense for him to live with me as I’ve got my cats to look after that I couldn’t leave, and my place is a bit bigger so we would both have a bit more space too,’ she said.
In their short time under the same roof, there have been many revelations about how her boyfriend does things. One such habit – reminiscent of my own girlfriend’s complaints – is the huge abundance of alarms every morning.
So the first thing that I noticed was the incessant amount of alarms that he sets on a morning. My boyfriend gets up early for work as a joiner and construction worker. He’s still having to go in to work in the week, so there’s no full lockdown for him.
But for some reason feels the need to set what feels like a million alarms starting from before 5am even though he doesn’t need leave mine until 5.40am. He literally rolls out of bed and into his work gear without even taking the time to brush his teeth, so why there is a need to set so many alarms and fall back asleep in between them is beyond me.
Anna has also noticed that the wardrobe ‘seems to be an alien concept for him’. ‘My bedroom floor soon became littered with pants, socks, shorts and tops all for the clothing fairy to magically pick up and put away or chuck on the washing basket,’ she said.
While he always appeared to dress nicely for dates or just meeting up, she soon realised how ‘ratty’ his clothes were while unpacking them, which he would have just left it all in bags if Anna didn’t step in. ‘Boxers on the floor are now a familiar sight,’ she said.
One night, while video-chatting with her friends, his clothes were so ragged that one pal asked: ‘Why is there a homeless man sitting on your sofa?’ However, she did concede that since spending more time at home, she ‘can’t remember the last time I put proper office clothes on’.
Next up was the titanic tide of alcohol he brought with him. Her boyfriend likes a good drink, so he ‘made sure that he had plenty of booze in stock and then proceeded to fill the house with beer when he moved in’. Her blue bin quickly became so full she had to use her neighbour’s.
The tower of beer, all 170 beers and cans of it, plus two bottles of vodka just in case he ran out. There were that many that the cat flap in the kitchen nearly got blocked by them. The kitties even found a new home for themselves at the top of the stash once it had whittled down a little and I moved it in to the dining room.
On the topic of beers, I found myself having to pick up all the empties from the floor and put them in the bin, or put them in the bin even though he had left them right next to the bin on the side, but just hadn’t quite managed to throw them away all together.
Now, as this was a new arrangement for her boyfriend, it’s understandable he’d want to feel at home – so, much to Anna’s displeasure, he installed a ‘hideous’ garden chair in the living room and his trusty TV. ‘Both have totally ruined the décor and I’m hoping that the green and blue striped monstrosity magically breaks and needs chucking in the skip,’ she said.
As a chronically lazy chef, I sympathise with this next part: the seismic shift to her boyfriend’s meal habits. Usually they took it in turns going around each other’s houses where they’d cook for one another. When they moved in together, Anna suggested they make a meal plan so they could do a proper, structured shop. ‘He looked at me with shock and bewilderment as it was something he’s never done before,’ she said.
He’d always make the effort when Anna came around, but otherwise it seems ‘ready meals and takeaways were mainly in his cuisine repertoire… so cooking proper meals every evening was something he got used to under my instruction as to how to make it’.
Of course, then there’s the washing up. Anna explained:
Don’t get me started on the washing up either – I think again he expected the washing up fairy to clean the pots, but to be fair to him he did then start helping out a bit rather than just leaving the pots to linger on the side.
He did get particularly ‘stressed out’ whilst cleaning down the hob though, and asked if I had a stool for him to sit on whilst he was at the sink, as he was tired of standing up. Oh yeah, and he huffed and puffed all the way through it, too.
Nothing says ‘home, sweet home’ like a cacophony of burps and farts. She said: ‘It seems that now my partner has moved in, he’s decided to truly make himself at home. Which includes burping and farting with abandon – who says romance is dead, eh?’
Regretfully, there’s a particular male stereotype that’s ringing true for Anna and her boyfriend: he always leaves the toilet seat up after going for a pee.
The other night I got up for the loo in the night, half asleep and bleary-eyed and hit the porcelain and nearly hit the bottom of the toilet bowl as I sat down in the darkness. I mean, how hard is it to put the lid down?
Fortunately, despite strict advice to stay at home wherever possible, people in the UK are currently still permitted to have one form of outside exercise each day. Unfortunately, Anna’s boyfriend isn’t so keen.
Apparently, he says he only ‘stands up if he’s on pay’ and that ‘just because the government says we can exercise, doesn’t mean we have to’. Upon prying him away from the ‘sofa and his beloved beer’, he had a ‘face of thunder’ as they strolled around the park and lake, ‘fuming to have been forced to put one leg in front of the other’.
However, despite the changes that both Anna and her boyfriend have had to adjust to, ‘it is actually really nice seeing him everyday and a blessing to have a loved one close’.
In this crazy world we are living in at the moment, I really do feel for people on their own and I count myself lucky to still be able to see my partner, so we can keep each other sane during lockdown. Despite his lazy ways, I’m glad we made the decision to move in together and so far, so good.
As someone at the other end of the spectrum, stuck in long-distance mode, I wouldn’t mind a slice of these relationship hijinks. Alas, as is the case for so many others, current circumstances are in the way. Keep the faith folks, we’ll get through it (in the meantime, there’s always FaceTime dates).
It’s okay to not panic about everything going on in the world right now. LADbible and UNILAD’s aim with our campaign, Cutting Through, is to provide our community with facts and stories from the people who are either qualified to comment or have experienced first-hand the situation we’re facing. For more information from the World Health Organization, click here.
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