A woman in Melbourne is selling a bracelet, given to her by her ex-husband, and using the advert listing to leave some pretty scathing comments about him.
The unnamed woman posted the Pandora charm bracelet for sale on Gumtree, at a price of $350 AUD and will accept PayPal or cash because, as she says, ‘tears of my enemy is not a legitimate payment type’.
It turns out there are quite a few charms on the bracelet, and rather than representing something positive as they usually do, the seller has nothing but negative sentiment towards it. And who can blame her?
Here is the advert listing, in full, which is worth reading to the bottom to really find out about the guy:
I’m selling the Pandora bracelet that my ex-husband thoughtfully put together for me while he lied to me throughout our marriage. It turns out that pretty trinkets don’t pay for betrayal.
Selling as a complete set:
• 19cm oxidised sterling silver bracelet
• Safety chain with 14ct yellow gold hearts – designed to keep the bracelet together better than our marriage.
• Hippo – not that this represented me. The stress he caused me helped me to lose lots of weight.
• Amethyst spacer
• Chick – like the babies he was trying to force me to have because he wanted babies before he was 30 and wouldn’t entertain the discussion about what I wanted.
• Purple Murano glass
• Purple enamel spacer
She goes on:
• Heart with a 14ct yellow gold arrow – symbolising the pain in my heart when I found out about the lies. And then again, when I found out how long they’d been going on for.
• Limited edition teddy bear with 14ct yellow gold heart – much like the limited nature of his trustworthiness.
• Purple enamel spacer
• Purple Murano glass with cubic zirconias
• Bride & groom dancing – not that we ever danced. He hated dancing but I loved it. Oh and god forbid some guy approached me on the dance floor. The one time I didn’t move a guy on quickly enough, a scotch glass came hurtling through the air at me to let me know of my ex’s displeasure.
• Purple cubic zirconia
• Clip with a diamond in a yellow gold setting
• Forever together – apparently not.
• Purple pave set cubic zirconias
• Limited edition vintage style with 14ct yellow gold heart
• Purple pave set heart
The pieces are all in very good condition (much like I am now after the divorce).
Payment: PayPal or cash (apparently tears of my enemy is not a legitimate payment type)
As the old saying goes, hell hath no fury like a woman selling jewellery on Gumtree…
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.