Most loved up individuals stumbling across their intended engagement ring would no doubt be overwhelmed with delight and excitement.
Whether they are offered a golfball sized diamond or a ring of twisted up tinfoil, there is surely no happier thing on this messy, confusing earth than somebody wanting to share their life with you.
However, for one unnamed woman her gut reaction to finding an engagement ring in her boyfriend’s nightstand was one of disgust and disappointment; prompting her to ‘roast’ the symbol of lifelong commitment online.
Now, the ring looks perfectly lovely to me; with a trio of sparkling stones and a handy hole to pop your finger through. But to this fiancée-to-be, she may as well have come across a steaming lump of dog poop…
With a tone of nose-wrinkled repulsion, the woman posted a picture of the very nice looking ring on Facebook, asking others for advice on how to ask for a different one.
Alongside the picture she wrote:
Ewwwww. Self shame Friday here I come.
Found this in the BF’s nightstand. Not a fan.
Please roast and then tell me how to tactfully say no you need to go get something different.
Admittedly, I was a little taken aback by her attitude; wondering how her other half might feel at the prospect of his grand, romantic gesture being pulled apart online.
But then again, I am a naïve and secretly soppy singleton who until this day had never heard of the weirdly prevalent world of ‘ring shaming’…
Now, we are all aware of those frighteningly committed friends who flood our Facebook feeds; their beaming, coupled-up faces almost as bright and shiny as their newly minted engagement rings.
‘I said yes!’ they will declare from the Eiffel Tower and the Rialto Bridge; sprinkling a little magic dust on you as you tuck into your microwaved lasagne for one.
These are the sort of posts which make us collectively re-download dating apps in a frenzied panic; the sort of posts which lead us to momentarily consider how our ex actually wasn’t a pretentious irritant, but actually…maybe, the one?
The ring shaming universe is kind of the direct inverse of this trend; with a surprising number of individuals joining Facebook groups for the sole purpose of mocking the engagement rings of others.
Now, I’m not entirely sure what drives these group members. Low self-esteem? Snobbery? A materialistic culture which pressures lovebirds to bankrupt themselves to prove their devotion?
The compulsion to ring shame yourself and your potential spouse is particularly surprising, and many of those who have seen the original post have been left puzzled by the woman’s harsh attitude.
The post soon made it to Reddit, where people pondered over the ethics of publicly making fun of your beloved’s taste in jewellery as their prepared to ask such an important question.
One person wrote:
Seriously. This almost makes me want to cry.
As a woman, and as a person who just proposed to her girlfriend, this really makes my heart break for him. Knowing the absolute stress I went through with the stupid ring… having it on my night stand, having anxiety attacks over when and where to propose… all the questions in my head…
If I saw something remotely similar to this… Oof… it would definitely be the most eye opening experience of my life. I hope he’s seen this.
My man could propose to me with a Walmart ring and I’d be happy. How can you be so spoiled and ask people to roast it.
It’s not clear whether or not her lucky man has seen the post or not, but hopefully he’s kept his receipts somewhere safe…
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.