Causing harm unintentionally to your genitals, be it a vagina or penis, is probably everyone’s worst nightmare.
You could be on the brink of an existential crisis, thinking about war, poverty, council tax, politics, all that jazz, and look down and say to yourself, ‘Well at least I’ve got this.’
Then one day, you’re having a bit of fun and WHAM, your bits are broken.
What do you do? Resign yourself to failure and unhappiness? I know what I’d do, turn it into literature or at the very least a funny anecdote, which is exactly what sex columnist Nadia Bokody did.
It had been a long time since the 34-year-old Australian had sex, she confessed, but she wasn’t quite ready to be ‘intimate’ with someone new, so did some research and bought a vibrator.
‘It was quite odd looking back, that I was running a women’s website,’ Nadia wrote. ‘Providing women with sex-positive advice and information on using vibrators when I had yet to try one myself.’
She purchased her very own ‘Rabbit’, similar to what Charlotte York buys in Sex and the City.
Signs you're a booty call: ✔️It's after 10pm. ✔️Your communications are solely text based and usually include the words "U up?" Or any combination of these emojis: 🍆🙈💦😈 ✔️You've never seen him in the daylight. You're seriously starting to believe he may be a vampire. ✔️All hangouts are at his house. And they are all referred to as 'hangouts', not 'dates'. ✔️He asks you when your Uber's due to arrive within minutes of ejaculating. ✔️This is the first time you've heard from him in days/weeks. ✔️All attempts to start a conversation about where this is going are redirected with the speed and precision of an Olympic fencer. ✔️You're always trying to decipher his feelings for you. Which are so cryptic they make understanding the film plot to Donnie Darko look like child's play. ✔️You're reading this. . . . . . . . #sexpert #moderndating #datinghumor #datingjokes #fuckboysbelike #tindergirls #tindernightmares #bootycalls #letstalkaboutsex #funnyfemales #feministasfuck #womensevolution #womenempowerwomen #slutpride #sexpositive #sexpositivity #sexpositivefeminism #funnyoftheday #sotrueithurts
Nadia admitted to becoming obsessed with using her new toy, especially the ease and speed at which it allowed her to feel pleasure again after months in a ‘sexless marriage.’
‘It was incredibly liberating and empowering to really take control of my sexuality in that way for the first time in my adult life,’ she added.
After a couple of weeks of using the new device (that sounds creepy for some reason, dunnit?), she started experiencing pelvic pain, even reduced to hobbling around her office.
Not putting two and two together, she went to the doctor to see if anything was up.
LOVE YOURSELF, because if you don't, you're starting the race at a disadvantage… I used to hate my body. I covered it up and viewed it as something shameful. Nowadays? I don't have the perfect body (mainly because it doesn't actually exist), but after 34 years of viewing it negatively, I'm now happy to accept it and to embrace it as lovingly as I embrace my human-sized bear every night. 🐻❤️ If you are able bodied and healthy, you are SO LUCKY. So you have some cellulite or your thighs touch like mine? Who cares??!! . Life is too short to be spent trying to conform to someone else's ideal of 'appropriate' or 'attractive'. If someone is seriously going to not give you a chance simply because of how you're dressed? Then you don't need that person, that job, or that relationship in your life. Dress how you like, flaunt what you want to flaunt, and don't be afraid to be sexy. Sometimes I dress corporate as hell, other days I do my job in hot pants and a crop top. Both ways I feel like a badass girl boss. Because I'm being true to me. Trying to look and act the way others expected me to got tiring. So I ditched it. And ironically I feel sexier than ever. There are few things more attractive in this world than someone who gives zero f**cks about what anyone else thinks of them, are there not? So, as my bestie @jaanaanttila wisely tells me all the time; 'You do you'. Because it's better to be a first rate version of yourself than a second rate version of someone else.
When all her STD tests came back clear, it became obvious what the root of the problem was and it rhymes with icebreaker.
The doctor started asking some questions and that’s when I realised the pain had been the result of me over-using my vibrator! It was equal parts embarrassing and hilarious.
Nadia was then forced to admit to her doctor that during the first week of usage, she had used the Rabbit half a dozen times per day and on the highest power setting.
He advised her to immediately take a break from any kind of sex toy to allow herself to recover.
Life is like a party. . You invite a lot of people; some show up to keep face but leave early, others come and stay all night kicking it on the dance floor. Some trash your house, and others let you down and bail last minute with lame excuses. But in the end, after the fun is over and the cold light of day hits, there are only a few who will stay back and clean up the mess with you. And most of the time, those are the ones you didn't even invite. 🎈 . READ: Cherish every opportunity to cultivate a new relationship in life. More often than not, the best experiences end up being shared with people you least expect. . . . . #selflovefirst #kindnessmatters #spreadgoodvibes #mentalhealthawareness #bodypositivebabes #quoteoftheday #thoughtleader #tuesdaythoughts #girlswhowrite #anxietywarrior #selflovewarrior #empoweringquotes #womenempowerwomen #spreadkindnesslikeconfetti #lifeislikethat #instamotivate #girlbosstribe #mentalillnessrecovery #sexpositivity #sexpositivefeminism #feministas #makelovenotwar #lovewinsalways #friendsquotes #positive_vibes #healthybodyandmind #healthyselfie #bekindtoall #thefutureisfeminist
Warning others against a similar awkward fate, she said:
The main thing to keep in mind when trying something new is to start out slow – I learnt the lesson the hard way not to use the turbo setting on your first go, and not to get too carried away!
Sex toys are a great way to explore new fantasies and sensations, both on your own and with a partner, and provided you buy from a reputable retailer like I did, they’re really safe.
Moral of the story here guys is never, under any circumstances, watch Sex and the City.
Nah, just messing with you. What. A. Show. Maybe just take a break here and there.
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