Tinder, it’s like a game of chicken. Send a message too early and you can look too eager, attempt to play it cool and aloof by sending messages way too late and you may miss the boat.
It’s a stupid game. When you play stupid games you win stupid prizes – or so the saying goes. Essentially Tinder is like a portal into Dante’s Inferno, a purgatory for the ‘single and ready to mingle’.
It’s a soul-crushing process of elimination as you try to separate the nice from the nasty (and spam bots). It actually makes you lose your faith in humanity and makes you wonder if there are any genuine singletons. But just when you’re about to give up, along comes someone who makes you feel there’s hope out there in the dating world, such is the case with 21-year-old ‘arms dealer’ Lauren.
Don’t worry, Lauren (who chose not to reveal her surname) isn’t an actual ‘arms dealer’, but her Tinder bio is really something special to behold. It’s smart and genuinely funny. Furthermore, her comedic content from her bio was born out of a painful experience which makes it much more special and inspiring.
Lauren, from San Diego, lost her right arm following a moped accident. According to her, she lost control of her vehicle and ‘hit the median in the road’.
Speaking to Buzzfeed News Lauren:
I flew off and hit a sign and it sliced my arm off. I stayed conscious the whole time.
i don't use the clapping emoji cos i can't clap and im being completely honest
— Duck (@DuckFanAccount) July 15, 2017
While she may have lost her right arm, she was grateful to keep her life after a police officer on came to her rescue. Coincidentally he had just completed his tourniquet training.
Lauren says she recalls asking the police officer:
‘Hey, am I gonna die?’ and he said, ‘No, you’ll be fine.’
Losing a body part can leave a huge psychological effect in the aftermath and it all comes down to how you deal with said traumatic experience. For Lauren, she’s turned her pain into humour on the level comparable to Sarah Silverman and Kate McKinnon.
inside edition photoshopped my dress to cover up my cleavage im crying pic.twitter.com/WzquW4nyi7
— Duck (@DuckFanAccount) August 16, 2017
Posting on the dating app, Lauren stated her occupation was an ‘arms dealer’ while saying she was ‘hands down the best catch on Tinder’.
The cherry on top was at the end when she said her personality was 20/10, her face was 10/10, and ‘arms ‘1/2’.
Overnight the screenshot of her bio went viral, with people praising her spirit. Her Instagram and Twitter are also full of hilarious self-deprecation.
One tweet read:
I was in the ocean and this lil kids like ‘what happened to ur arm’ and I told him it was a shark and he ran out and has yet to get back in.
Lauren told Buzzfeed News she credit social media to playing a big part in her recovery:
For a while, I wasn’t okay with the jokes. But then I started telling the jokes, and it’s kind of helped.
You’ve got to respect someone who can laugh at themselves like that.
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