As If It’s Been Ten Years Since All This Happened In Music
Do you ever get the feeling that time is moving quicker and quicker?
Nothing in the world makes you feel so old as realising all those things which feel like they happened yesterday, actually occurred a decade ago – except maybe needing to use a seat in the shower or pissing into an adult nappy.
Check out these musical events and be glad that it only makes you feel old. Hopefully, you won’t have to have a hip replacement any time soon…
Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black Was Released
Before she became a member of the 27 Club (musicians who died prematurely at the age of 27 – Cobain, Joplin, Hendrix – the list goes on…), Amy stormed the world with the release of 2006’s Back to Black featuring ironic hit Rehab, Back to Black and You Know I’m No Good.
Gnarls Barkley Crazy Spent 10 Weeks At No. 1
Back in 2006, when actually reaching number 1 was still a thing to take pride in (i.e. before high-waistbanded tan-monster, Simon Cowell hijacked it as a sideshow to launch the career of one of his conveyor belt of Butlin’s redcoats), Gnarls Barkley went straight to the top of the charts with the still amazing Crazy.
Simon Cowell Released Tiresome Cretin Chico’s First Single
Back to the aforementioned Simon Cowell, who rumour has it is a black belt in being an arsehole and is only able to achieve orgasm by looking at himself in a mirror.
In 2006, Simon launched the career of one of “music’s” most forgettable idiots, Chico with the irritating catchphrase It’s Chico Time. All I can say is thank fuck time moves forward…
Leona Lewis Stole Our Hearts
Sometime in the dystopian future, when militarised gangs of punks, indie guitarists and techno DJs revolt with a plan to rid the music world of any semblance of its pop past, some hero – probably Dave Grohl in robot form – will halt the deserved torture of Simon Cowell and offer him the mercy of a quick death.
Robo-Dave will do this for one reason and one reason only – Leona Lewis, the only good thing Pop Idol or X-Factor has ever produced.
The Kooks Released Indie/Pop Classic Naive
This time in 2006, The Kooks released indie/pop classic Naive and forever soundtracked the college years of students across the country.
Their success was to be shortlived and, despite a recent attempt at a comeback, The Kooks have been resigned to the bargain bin of mid noughties pop guitar bands alongside The View and The Bravery.
If you stroll down Camden High Street, rumour has it you can still spot Luke Pritchard busking on an old dustbin smelling of rolling tobacco, L’Oreal Elvive and shattered dreams.
Top Of The Pops Aired Its Last Ever Episode
Due to its increasing irrelevancy in the internet age, BBC’s long running Top of the Pops aired its last ever episode 10 years ago, with Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie being the show’s final ever No. 1.
Ghostface Killah Dropped Fishscale
It’s been 10 years since Wu Tang’s Ghostface Killah (not his birth name) released (or in rap terms “dropped”) the seminal Fishscale.
In recent years, Ghostface has warmed the internet’s heart in his beef with pharmadouche Martin Shrekli. Here’s hoping the sounds of Ghostface strangling that little prick make up the majority of a new album.
Lily Allen Burst Onto The Scene
2006 was also the year that Lily Allen burst onto the scene with her debut album, Smile!
It’s weird to think that she wasn’t even a blip on the radar ten years ago and today, in 2016, nothing much has changed…
Justin Timberlake Released His Best Album
Ten years ago, Justin Timberlake was still the curly haired, falsetto voiced cherub from NSYNC, whose only cool points were amassed by virtue of him being the dude that went out with Britney Spears.
But that all changed when he released his second album, the Timbaland produced FutureSex/LoveSounds – a record that is genuinely brilliant – even to hardened musical cynics like myself. He brought sexy back!