It might be hard to believe but these songs have turned ten years old. Christ, how old do you lot feel right now eh?
Albert Einstein, the genius who came with the theory that time is relative, also said ‘Time is an illusion’. What does this have to with music you ask? We’re not entirely sure we just wanted to sound like a smarty pants to piss off you in the comments section so you can all demand ours heads on a platter.
But maybe the point is that as time has gone on we have barely noticed that the Joints & Jamz (notice the old school Black Eyed Peas reference) of our youthful prime are now old AF! The tunes that we loved have either aged well or have become so outdated that you may have to delete them from your Spotify/iTunes library.
So without further ado here are ten songs that are ten years old.
Akon – Smack That (featuring Eminem)
Well let’s start with a really contentious song shall we? Here we have a song that we pretty much guarantee was playing in Birdcage, Spearmint & Rhino’s and every Tiger Tiger up and down the country. Looking at Akon’s entire discography we’d would say this is a by-the-numbers song, it’s just more surprising that he was able to nab Eminem for this track. Granted this was during Marshall Mather’s recovery period off of prescription drugs, so we’ll give him a pass for such a mediocre guest verse. The video itself is an like a homage to the Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy classic 48 Hrs, with Eric Roberts (Juila Roberts’ less successful brother) playing the Nolte role.
In hindsight it’s a bit of a forgettable song after ten years in the wilderness. That being said it’s hard criticise Akon as he’s a genuinely awesome human being, considering that he’s provided free electricity for towns in Senegal, Niger, Guinea, Mali, Benin and Sierra Leone. So he can make all the awful songs that he likes as far as we’re concerned.
The definition of a modern day humanitarian.
Kanye West – Stronger
Over the year’s Kanye West as proven to be a consistent hitmaker, regardless of what you think about his fashion ventures, on-stage rants or his incredibly giant ego, you can’t deny that the man knows how to make good music. Stronger, from this third studio album Graduation, is just the another track in a long line of bangers from the Chicago-born rapper/producer and ten years on it’s still good. It was ballsy move on his part to take an already classic dance track (Daft Punk did the original, Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger) and flip it to a hip hop classic. Honestly if you play this in the club or drop into your gym playlist and we guarantee it will get you in the mood. Also if you haven’t listened to the Graduation after all these years we highly recommend it.
As for the video you’ve got to give Kanye West nerd-props for going with the Akira-inspired style visuals, the multiple references to the classic manga upped his levels of coolness for sure.
Gwen Stefani – The Sweet Escape
Bloody hell Akon was everywhere ten years ago wasn’t he? This time he teamed up with No Doubt leader signer Gwen Stefani.
This was during her ‘I’ve got Japanese dancers as accessories’ phase, which proved quite popular at the time – not sure how well it would translate today though. But the times were different and casual racism aside this is a pretty forgettable track nowadays. In fact if our illustrious Sound editor didn’t remind us that this song turned ten years old then we would’ve probably died happy knowing that it never existed. But it does, and the clear exploitation of hard working Asian workers is clearly visible Ms Stefani… you bloody monster.
Rihanna & Jay Z – Umbrella
It only seems like yesterday when Rihanna ‘literally’ transitioned from good girl to sex symbol right in front of our eyes with this Jay-Z assisted single. Who knows where RiRi might be if not for the racy video, because take that out of the equation and Umbrella is just another catchy little tune that would’ve been forgotten in the annals of music history.
By today’s standards – and certainly for Rihanna’s – the video for Umbrella is quite tame considering when you pit against later video’s like Bitch Better Have My Money, Rude Boy and Work. However when it first drop it’s fair to say that it was ahead of its time, making the teenager inside of us have some pretty strange feelings.
Sean Kingston – Beautiful Girls
The last time I heard from Sean Kingston he was getting jumped by the Migos and chastised by one Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson for bitching about it on social media.
However before his painful encounter with Atlanta’s Bad And Boujee rappers, Sean Kingston was destined for greatness after he came out with the Ben E. King sampled Beautiful Girls. Over the classic Motown track Stand By Me we were treated to young Sean professing his never-ending love for a girl in his high school, he loved her so much that he really felt ‘suicidal’ about it. This is the kind of track that you’d put on your playlist if the girl that you love has relegated you to the friend zone.
I mean if we were Sean’s mates we’d tell the guy to ‘calm down’, no girl’s that great that you’d want to end your life over her – what kind of future is that? Clearly none, as since then he’s been fairly redundant in music – aside from making the news recently for that aforementioned encounter with Migos.
Soulja Boy – Crank That
Hey guys do you wanna know where hip hop died and started becoming more about internet traction and less about lyrical content? Well this is it.
Ten year’s since DeAndre Way dropped the viral hit Crank That it’s amassed over 2.7 million views. So maybe were wrong, maybe hip hop isn’t dead and this writer is just an out-of-date fossil who’s stuck in the ‘golden era of hip hop. But answer this question?: What as Soulja Boy really done after his dropping Crank That? Yeah he’s made a lot of money (from God knows where) but the music that he’s pushed out has been mad garbage and forgettable at best.
Okay rant over. Anyway Crank Dat did set the tone for catchy rap tunes that focused more on hooks and dance moves. In a way, you could make a case for the ‘Superman (Dat Hoe)’ being the launch pad for the likes of ‘Watch me whip, Watch me nay-nay’ and ‘The Dougie’. Not bad for a dance routine that has a background as a sex move finisher (ask you’re older brother).
Plain White T’s – Hey There Delilah
This is a forgotten gem buried in the memory of every grown adult who had a teenage love that they swear at the time they’d be with forever… ahh to be young and in love.
Placed somewhere in between the likes of Fallout Boy and Snow Patrol, The Plain White T’s had very soft-rock/indie vibe to them, Hey There Delilah is a track that’s pure Marmite. You either love it because the heartfelt lyrics and gentle guitar melodies soothe you and make you reminiscence on past loves, or you hate it because it’s too wet and it makes you cry about the ex-girlfriend who left you for a better looking bloke. In hindsight it was a song indicative of its time when cry-singing over soft-rock ballads was all the rage… today, not so much.
Unless you’re Coldplay.
Amy Winehouse – Back to Black
To say Amy Winehouse was a one-of-a-kind singer is an understatement, with all due respect she’s a mother-fucking icon. She hit an all-time creative high with her seminal album Back To Black, a soulful collection of songs about love, heart ache and torrid relationships. The single Back To Black is an incredibly timeless track that perfectly described her tumultuous relationship with her, at-the-time, on-again-off-again relationship with her ex-husband Blake Civil Fielder.
The great thing about this track is that it’s one of those timeless songs that, along with the album, have only gotten better with age. However it also serves as a painful reminder of the talent that was harshly taken away from us and one that we dearly miss.
Sugababes – About You Now
Oh the Sugababes, a group who changed members so much that you’d think their manager was Roman Abramovich. By the time this song came out the only original member left from the group was Keisha (who eventually got kicked out herself).
About You Now was probably the last great Sugababes track, from a group so dysfunctional that to this day no one even knows if this group still exists. We wouldn’t be surprise if the Sugababes come back out of hiatus but with Alvin and The Chipmunks as the new members.
Timbaland, Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake – Give It To Me
Whenever Timbaland and Justin Timberlake team up magic always seems to happen, throw in a some Nelly Furtado and you got a certified heater.
Yes we know the video is mad budget but you can’t deny that when this track was still fresh in our ears you were immediately hitting the dance floor on freshers night.
Whilst it’s not as iconic as say Cry Me A River, it’s still another great addition to the JT and Timbaland archives. Also this came at a time when Nelly Furtado was THE GIRL you wanted on the hooks. At her peak she was the artist you wanted to have if you wanted to bridge urban and mainstream pop culture together.