Zayn Malik Goes Completely Bald And The Jokes Are Phenomenal

by : Julia Banim on : 01 Sep 2017 17:09

Ex-One Directioner Zayn Malik has gone for a bold new look, completely shaving off his artfully tousled mop of hair, and nobody knows what to do any more. 


Zayn’s mum Trisha shared an Instagram picture of him without one visible hair left on his shiny scalp, looking like a completely different person. This bald bombshell comes just days before his new album Dusk till Dawn drops…

The picture shows Zayn, Trisha and Zayn’s fashion model girlfriend Gigi Hadid, with a simple love heart as the caption. No explanation is given about Zayn’s interesting new look, and people are demanding answers.

One person lamented, ‘why the f did he cut his pretty hair like an old maayyynn’, while another enquired, ‘Is that Count Olaf??’


Baldgate has spark a shocked hilarious response from those who just want Zayn’s luscious, strokable hair back.

One person who finds the new ‘do particularly amusing is Zayn’s sister Waliyha.

Like any true annoying sister, she shared the picture on Twitter along with the caption, ‘bald brotha’ with two crying laughing faces and a love heart.


Zayn has form for putting his fans in a spot of bother, in April he was papped in a wheelchair in New York, which y’know, made the news.

Whoever is holding Zayn’s majestic mane hostage really needs to hand it back asap, or else forever live in fear of the hoard of sobbing, angry Zayn fans baying for their blood…

Julia Banim

Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.

Topics: Music


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