470,000 People Planning To Storm Area 51 Form Outrageous Plan
Clearly bored with discussing conspiracy theories in dingy corners of the internet (Flat Earth, Princess Diana and steel beams), a large group of alien enthusiasts are planning to uncover the secrets of Area 51 once and for all.
Armed with ‘pebbles’ and ‘Naruto’ runners, thousands of people are seemingly gearing up to storm the highly classified United States Air Force facility to finally ‘see them aliens’.
Sure, it seems as likely as a UFO parking up outside your new build terrace, but these keen folks have mapped out a ‘detailed plan’ based on a simple premise: ‘they can’t stop all of us’.
They’ve even set a date for their inter-planetary war for 20 September 2019, and will meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and ‘coordinate entry’.
Taking to the ‘Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us’ Facebook group, the ringleader suggests ‘if we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets…’
OK, this doesn’t seem legit or safe, but let’s humour the adventurers for a second.
Area 51 – a large and extremely secure military air force unit – has been the subject of many alien conspiracy theories for decades, with some believing it supports the testing of UFO and extra-terrestrial beings.
Let’s face it, we’d all like to know what’s really going on in the Nevada desert. But is it worth taking a potential bullet?
Over 400,000 people have joined the Facebook group, all offering various methods of action.
One person commented:
We use the rock throwers and naruto runners to distract them and the rest of us go underground.
Get the aliens on your side and you might have a chance with some “inside support” like sabotaging the guns.
Master strategist, Jackson Barnes, hopes they can storm the facility without the use of violence.
…the Rock Throwers will throw pebbles at the inevitable resistance (we don’t want to hurt them, we just want to annoy them enough to not shoot…)
The thousand-strong, err…, soldiers will be sectioned into three groups: rock throwers, Naruto runners (animé ninjas that run really fast) and ‘Kyles’ (a team of muscle buff teenagers with a penchant for kicking in drywall).
Then there’s the rest, who will watch from a safe space with binoculars and popcorn.
Not all are in support of the mission and its outrageous plan.
‘Man… y’all gonna die…’ warns one person in the group.
And yet, we wish the soldiers luck. Although we’re surprised the US government hasn’t shut this page down by now…
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