WARNING: Some viewers may find this footage distressing
You might’ve heard the old adage of nailing your flag to the mast.
Well, this man (read: moron) took it to a new level when he nailed his ears to a tree, along with his dignity and solid reputation, presumably.
The three minute video, filmed by a group of his friends – if you can call people who encourage this sort of lunacy friends – has been posted to YouTube.
As the man prepares for his non-traditional ear piercing with a trusty pair of sunglasses – because having the sun in his eyes is really the problem here – he realises the noise of the drill might hurt his head.
Thinking quickly on her feet, the woman filming suggests he’d benefit from some tissue in his ears. You know, for protection.
For such a health-conscious bunch, I can’t help wonder why in the world they’d think ripping a man’s ear flesh apart to drill him to a tree would be a good idea.
After the drilling takes place, the eerily dumb man attempts to rip his head from its self-inflicted shackle. As one of his mates went to get a claw-hammer instead, the man took matter into his own hands and tugged.
Sadly, there was no one there to tell the man this video is the dumbest fucking thing ever to happen in history.
Their exclamations probably would’ve fallen on deaf ears anyway.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.