Kayaker Mary Maley ran into a bit of trouble when out kayaking in Berg Bay, Alaska, after one bear tried to eat her kayak.
She tries pretty much every method of persuasion she can think of to cajole the bear into not eating her kayak, including pleading, shouting and pepper spray.
Sadly for her, the bear was too hungry to listen, and proceeded to eat her boat with vigour.
She begs for quite a while, but the best sentence of the lot has to be:
STOP BREAKING MY KAYAK, PLEASE. PLEASE STOP! GOSH DARN IT. OH, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?
Bear, please stop! Please stop, bear! It’s the end of September, why are you here? You’re supposed to be asleep! Why are you here?
Needless to say, her pleas fall on deaf ears – mainly because, you know, bears don’t understand English.