The day after suffering his first loss in Parliament, Boris Johnson has added another title to the list of characteristics he flaunts – loudmouth, liar, cheater, and now swearer.
The ‘over-promoted rubber bath toy’ has become the first prime minster to swear in Parliament. After the appalling posture of ‘masturbatory prefect’ Jacob Rees-Mogg, who embodied the arrogance and fuckwittery of everything which is happening in Westminster at the moment, it’s almost fair enough that BoJo shat in the House of Commons.
Of course, Boris Johnson wasn’t just exhaling and swearing like most of us, he was aiming his derision at Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn during PMQs, describing the party’s economic plans as ‘shit or bust’.
You can watch it here:
Johnson was apparently quoting Angela Rayner, the shadow education secretary, who reportedly used the phrase to describe Labour’s strategy of increases in state spending.
Johnson, obviously and visibly riled up during PMQs, was being grilled by Corbyn over the complete lack of evidence to back up his claims that progress was being made in Brexit negotiations.
You will not fuck with my children’s future. You will not destroy the freedoms my grandfather fought two world wars to defend. Fuck off you over-promoted rubber bath toy. Britain is revolted by you and you little gang of masturbatory prefects. https://t.co/Oc0xwLI6dI
— Hugh Grant (@HackedOffHugh) August 28, 2019
He wants a tax on homes, and he’s calling incessantly for a general strike.
The shadow education secretary says that their economic policy is, and I quote, Mr Speaker, by your leave, shit or bust.
The ‘over-promoted rubber bath toy’ then, as he took his seat, apparently goaded Corbyn further, by shouting ‘Call an election, you great big girl’s blouse,’ the Independent reports.
Labour MP Alison McGovern said: ‘This isn’t PMQs. It is a dodgy stand up comedian dying on his arse.’
'Shit or bust!'
This isn't #pmqs. It is a dodgy stand up comedian dying on his arse.
— Alison McGovern (@Alison_McGovern) September 4, 2019
The sweary, ranty, blustering performance from Johnson – during which he was accused of ‘endless posturing around no deal’ – came just hours after he suffered a humiliating defeat in the House of Commons as MPs rebelled in order to attempt to pass a bill which would block the PM’s ability to make the UK leave the EU without a deal.
With it, the possibility of a snap election is increasing. Boris needs a two-thirds majority of MPs to trigger one, though Labour has said it won’t back a poll until a delay to the October 31 Brexit date is secured. However, MPs are divided over the timing, BBC News reports.
Boris’ defeat means today, Wednesday, September 4, MPs can introduce a bill forcing the PM to ask for a delay to Brexit until at least January 31 2020, rather than force the country to leave without a deal. If the bill passes, Johnson has said he would go ahead with efforts to call a general election next month, saying: ‘The people of this country will have to choose.’
Johnson may have uttered one four-letter word in parliament today, but there’s plenty more to be used when describing the Brexit shitshow.
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.