As a fairly hardened scary movie fan, there are very few things capable of putting me off my food.
I could happily slurp tomato soup in front of Carrie or chow down on a juicy steak in front of The Walking Dead.
I recently watched The Autopsy Of Jane Doe with a big bowl of spaghetti on my lap. And very nice it was too.
However, one Etsy shop product has seriously put me off going out on a cheeky Greggs run for the foreseeable future…
Now, Etsy is usually connected with pretty, homespun crafts; online shops stuffed with motivational embroidery and eclectic literary themed jewellery. However, one scarily talented seller has shown how crafting doesn’t necessarily have to be cute or feminine to be popular.
Ashley Newman is the owner and creator of It Came From Under My Bed, an Etsy shop which sells all manner of creepy objects.
From severed tongue necklaces to hip flasks with teeth, horror lovers just cannot get enough of creative Ashley’s shudderingly realistic art.
However, perhaps the most gruesome of her products is the ‘People Pot Pie.’ Each decidedly unsavoury pie bears an extremely lifelike human face; complete with parted lips and blooded eye sockets.
Find out more about these highly unusual pies below:
You can even request additional features on your pie – such as hair, teeth and tongue – free of charge. The pie itself will set you back £23.62. And much like Mrs Lovett herself, business is booming.
Taking to Facebook, Ashley reassured customers she would be replenishing to meet escalating demand:
Needless to say this pie thing has gone insane. I am literally paying my daughter to help check messages.
I don’t have any shop helpers so bear with me while I try to keep up. I have more pies on the way to my Etsy store very very soon.
I always have these in my shop so if you miss them this round don’t worry I’m making more. Just have to finish up the edges on these.
Writing on her Etsy page, Ashley explained how she began her grisly business, charting her journey from ‘haunter to prop maker’:
My first experience with a haunted trail was at 19 years old. I was invited on a camping trip with my soon to be husband where the group put on a trail.
I have always loved Halloween so it was a no brainer. I wasn’t much into acting but loved the process of coming up with ideas and making props. A few years ago my Husband and our two kids decided to reignite the tradition.
I loved pushing myself to make better and creepier props. Then I discovered that I was good with clay and latex. It isn’t a cheap medium to work with though so I decided I could easily make duplicates of my props and sell them to other Horror fanatics.
I don’t put up a new product until I’m happy with it, so as time goes on you will begin to see more items available. I love to listen to requests and see them as a chance for growth.
If I think I can do it for you I will. I have a wonderful little corner of my shed dedicated to my horror prop making, but I store everything indoors in a cool dry location under my bed.
These pies are not edible – although, to be fair would you be even be able to? – and are actually made from latex and foam rather than pastry and human cadavers.
Ashley Newman of It Came From Under My Bed made “people pot pies” and now I am thoroughly shaken and screaming internally.
— ??? SPOOP HOUR??? (@spoophour) July 31, 2018
It won’t be long until the evenings darken and Halloween creeps upon us once again. Could this be the perfect decoration to ward off any ghastly ghouls and sinister spirits?
It puts me in mind of the Faceless Men from Game of Thrones.
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.