It was Christmas Eve babe, in the drunk tank. An old man said to me, won’t see another one, and then he sang a song…
Not my words of course, but those of Jem Finer and Shane McGowan of The Pogues, in their timeless Christmas tune Fairytale of New York.
And while you’ve all come here to see David Beckham’s nude photo, I thought I’d pop this song in your head, because it’s Christmas Eve, babe!
Also, in the photo, David is celebrating this very Christmas Eve, he looks like he may have had a drink or two (the drunk tank), and maybe, just maybe, he’s about to burst into song. And who can blame him?
Yep, Becks is doing it again – driving his 52.8 million followers wild with another classic post on the ‘gram.
He really is a tease. Normally when David posts a selfie, it’s not unusual to see him topless. However, it’s his caption that’s got us this time.
Along with the photo, he wrote:
Good Morning and Happy Christmas Eve.. Can you tell I’m slightly excited… chestnuts roasting on an open fire and all that
Oh wow. Do you get it? I mean, David, come on. Chestnuts? Chest…nuts? ChestNUTS?! And he’s naked? And he’s naked and standing close to an open fire?! And the open fire is roasting his chest…NUTS?!
I know you said you’re ‘slightly excited’ but I’m at 100 per cent excitement right now. Fully excited for this photo, that is. Let’s all just take a minute, shall we…
In other David Beckham photo-related news – a few weeks ago, the ex-footballer posted another very Christmassy shot of himself with his daughter, Harper.
The photo showed David and Harper at an ice skating rink, with the former England player planting a kiss on the seven-year-old’s lips.
A glittering Christmas tree visible in the background, 43-year-old David captioned the pic, ‘Christmas is coming Let’s go skate’ with a Father Christmas emoji.
However, not everyone was feeling quite so in the festive spirit…
As expected, the cheerful bringer of glad tidings of comfort and joy – Piers Morgan – had something to say about it. Yes, the snivelling little swine just couldn’t help but bring some completely undeserved negativity down on a perfectly sweet photo between a father and his daughter.
The Good Morning Britain presenter managed to turn the Instagram pic into a TV debate over whether or not parents should kiss their children on the lips, describing David as being ‘creepy’ and ‘weird’.
It’s just weird right? Who does that with their kids? Who kisses their kids on the lips?
Well it turns out many people do, Piers. As usual, you’re in the minority banging your drum and trying to stay heard and relevant.
The world has officially gone mad David beckham pecks his daughter on the lips and it makes news.Piers Morgan needs to get his mind out off the gutter..I kiss and hug all my kids on the lips it's called showing your kids affection.
— Kellie Moore (@southbelfastgal) November 28, 2018
Piers Morgan is offended by David beckham kissing his own daughter on the lips… says it all doesn’t it. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s YOUR MIND that has the problem.
— libby (@libbyvmama) November 28, 2018
It's people like you @piersmorgan that make fathers uncomfortable and feel that they are doing something wrong showing affection to their own children!! It's an innocent photo @GMB @susannareid100 #DavidBeckham
— Delfy🇮🇹🇪🇺🇬🇧 (@DelfinaVillano) November 28, 2018
Thankfully, David and Harper took no notice of Piers, as we all should really. On the other hand, I can’t wait to see his reaction to David’s chestnuts.
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.