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David Cameron Can’t Even Buy Socks Without Pissing People Off

by : Tom Percival on : 27 May 2017 17:09
SWNS

David Cameron has managed to piss people off by buying socks at a JD sports in London – because he’s David Cameron.

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And while it may sound like that’s impossible you don’t know quite how talented David Cameron is at pissing people off.

Let’s just say if it were an Olympic event Cameron wouldn’t be allowed to compete because it would be unfair on the other competitors.

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Anyway, Cameron had popped into London’s Oxford Street branch of JD Sports to pick up a multi-pack of white socks when he offended the crowd by doing the unthinkable – he jumped the bloody queue!

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Now all Brits know queue jumping is the second worse offence a person can commit, the only thing worse is serving someone a deliberately sub-par cup of tea, and those in store were shocked at his behaviour.

Witnesses claim that Cameron entered the store flanked by bodyguards before allegedly pushing past ten other customers to get to the front of the queue after picking up the wrong sized pair of white sports socks.

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One witness, who filmed Mr Cameron in the store said: 

You might expect to see David Cameron in Selfridges, but not JD Sports. He looked completely out of place in his suit with two security men, everyone around him was smartly dressed.

I don’t know why he was so desperate for socks at that moment but they must have been important.

I don’t know why he deserves such special treatment now he’s no longer Prime Minister, he just jumps to the front of the queue. Surely he could have queued up like the rest of us.

Since resigning as Prime Minster and standing down as an MP Mr Cameron has become the head of dementia charity Alzheimer’s Research UK and began writing a book about his time at Downing Street.

Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism. Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV. He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.

Topics: News

Credits

SWNS
  1. SWNS