It’s an established fact that the governments of the world are actually the puppets of intergalactic lizard people who drink human blood to keep their scales looking healthy – or at least that’s what people on web forums tell me.
However proving the connection between governments and The Illuminati, the name of the secret cabal who really rule the world, has been notoriously difficult.
So difficult in fact that it’s almost like the group doesn’t really exist, but one world leader’s made a massive cock up exposing the vague but menacing group to the world.
According to top men in tin foil hats Germany’s Chancellor, Angela Merkel, gave the game away with her signature hand gesture called ‘Merkel Rhombus’.
The idea is that Merkel’s deliberately pointing her hands into a pyramid of power, a symbol long associated with the
fictional totally real Illuminati.
According to Illuminati Rex, the triangle is the Roc Sign which you make by ‘holding out your palms while touching both your thumbs and index fingers forming a triangle’.
I mean Merkel makes a rhombus but who am I to nitpick theories on a YouTube channel.
Merkel herself claims that she adopted the gesture because she wasn’t sure what to do with her arms when standing – a likely story!
More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.
Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.
He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.