Donald Trump Just Grew An Inch Taller And Everyone Is Suspicious


This U.S. Presidential campaign has rumbled on and fucking on over the last few months, reaching new lows on a daily basis as we get closer to election day. 

In the last couple of weeks in particular the nominees health has been the latest thing thrust into the limelight after Hillary Clinton collapsed during a September 11 memorial service.


So looking to take advantage of this (because that’s the point we’re now at in American politics) the poster-boy of health living Donald J Trump decided to disclose the results of his medical.

And the results? Well, he’s just as (if not more) unhealthy than Hillary. Trump’s personal physician Harold Bernstein revealed that the Republican nominee was 6’3″weighing in at 236 pounds, giving him a BMI of 29.1, which the NHS states is overweight.


Considering he also takes medication for high cholesterol, in the grand scheme of things that’s not great really is it? But considering more than two out of three of Americans are considered to be overweight, Trump is just part of the growing majority.

At least he isn’t obese, right? Well actually, he might just be after all.

The guys at Vocativ did a bit of digging and found out that Trump’s height has long been thought to be in fact 6’2″, a height which was listed on his 1964 Selective Service registration card.

So why would he now all of a sudden say he’s grown an inch? Well, if you put that into a BMI calculator his BMI rises to 30.3, which defines Trump as ‘obese’.

And when you’re already having to bat away concerns that as the oldest person ever elected to the presidency, maybe adding an inch would be the best way to do quash yet another reason to not elect him- though you’d think his bigoted policies alone would already be enough to do that.

Lets not forget that this isn’t the first time he’s faced questions about his ‘size’ either. Referring to Trump, Marco Rubio said ‘you know what they say about guys with small hands’.

Something ‘The Donald’ had to deny, replying:

Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, he referred to my hands ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.

The presidential candidate revealed some further details of his medical record on the Dr Oz Show last week, alongside a letter from Dr Bornstein who has been Trump’s physician for the past 35 years.

It said the GOP candidate was in ‘excellent physical health’, but Trump admitted he could lose weight.

He said: 

I think I could lose a little weight. I’ve always been a little bit this way, you know, but I have always been this way. If I had one thing I’d like to lose weight – it’s tough because of the way I live but the one thing I would like to do is drop 15-20lbs, it would be good.

Hillary Clinton Holds Campaign Roundtable In Las Vegas

In fairness, we can’t go in too hard on him as we know even less about Hillary Clinton’s height (between 5’5″ and 5’7″) and weight (no idea) than we do Trump’s.

Either way, America isn’t going to be ‘great again’ while the political landscape and its candidates are in the shape they’re in.