*Puts on blazer and gets into Jeremy Clarkson mode*
Just for one moment, let’s forget the constant bane that is caravans and direct our ire to the idiots behind the wheel.
Take for example the chap in the dog-turd-sat-in-the-sun shade of brown Octavia estate who decided to pull into my lane without bothering to look in his mirror this morning. Or those old dears that need a space the size of a football pitch to squeeze their Fiat 500 through.
Thankfully for fools like these they don’t find themselves in China, where the lay of the law lands heavy.
Disdain for speed cameras is widespread, but one such instrument of the surveillance state has helped dish out a ticket for one reckless driver who had the audacity to scratch his face. Or so he says.
The Jilu Evening Post, as per the BBC, reports male motorist Mr Liu was driving in Jinan, eastern Shandong province, on Monday and passed a traffic camera while scratching his face.
Before he knew it, he had received a notification of his driving violation for ‘driving while holding a phone’. A surveillance photo was attached as evidence of his ‘offence’.
Mr Liu was told he would receive two points on his licence along with a 50 yuan (£5.70) fine.
He exclaimed on popular microblogging site Sina Weibo:
I often see people online exposed for driving and touching [others’] legs.
But this morning, for touching my face, I was also snapped ‘breaking the rules’!
Now I’m not going to shame anyone for what they like to spend their spare time looking at on the internet, but you’ve got to wonder what the CCTV voyeurs who get paid to dish out the fines get to see.
Either way, after not getting very much help on the phone to the authorities trying to fix the issue it’s reported Mr Liu’s fine has been waived.
Big Brother has his eye on his comrades in China. The country has 170 million surveillance cameras and has plans for a further 400 million by 2020.
Careful you don’t get caught doing anything naughtier than having a scratch in your cockpit.
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.