Man ‘Chops Off Mate’s Dick With Axe’ After Getting Penis Envy


We all know a mate who’s a sore loser – especially after a few beers – but this guy went waaay too far.

Russian police have detained a 52-year-old after he used an axe to cut off his friend’s penis, reports the Daily Mail. The two, presumably former, friends got into an argument over who was packing the most impressive appendage during a two-day drinking session in the Urals region of Bashkortostan.

Apparently this led to an actual penis-measuring competition, after which the ‘loser’ decided to fiddle the scores – with an axe. In the world’s worst case of penis envy he hit his 47-year-old drinking buddy in the head with the axe, before allegedly lopping his man-sausage clean off.


If you were hoping the head injury knocked the unfortunate villager unconscious prepare to be disappointed. Police said that neighbours called the emergency services after hearing the man’s pained screams.

It’s enough to bring tears to your eyes.


The police summarised the incident in a very understated manner:

Over two days the men were binge drinking, which led to a violent argument.

Neither man has been named, but they live in the village of Nikolsk. Despite the five-year age gap they have known each other since they were kids.

The older of the two, reportedly the loser of the competition that started this whole mess, has been charged with inflicting a ‘grave injury’.

If convicted he could go to jail for up to eight years. Something tells me it’ll take longer than that for his victim to forgive him.