Dust Off Your Favourite Khaki-Grey Frock, North Korea’s Having A Massive Party!
Dust off your favourite khaki-grey frock, North Korea’s having a party!
The reclusive state have erected a massive tent city for the occasion, as these satellite images show. And if – for some bizarre reason – huge grey tents weren’t exciting enough, hundreds of military trucks and other armoured vehicles have also been brought in – because nothing screams ‘CELEBRATION’ quite like the ability to violently suppress dissent with tanks.
Chubby tyrant Kim Jong-un is having the big old knees up to celebrate the 70th birthday of the ruling party, who have miraculously managed to remain in power for the duration of that time.
A massive military parade is planned for Saturday. Students, workers and general riff raff have been busy for weeks practising their marching, flag-waving, slogan-shouting and emotional wailing in preparation for the big day, The Telegraph reports.
It’s set to be the biggest public spectacle since Kim Jong-un took power in 2011.
In other North Korea news, Kim Jong-un has sacked his sister as his head of security after several fuck ups, including an incident that nearly saw the Supreme Leader being smacked in the head with a guitar.
Kim Yo-jong, 26, was responsible for the security of her brother’s operation, as well as managing his image throughout North Korea, where her responsibilities include ‘coordinating every detail of his fashion and hair style’, The Mirror reports. To be honest, I’d have thought she would have been sacked a long time ago for giving the OK to that hair cut.
Kim Jong-un currently weighs in at an impressive 20 stone, while most of the nation starves. But hey, at least they get to march through the streets in his honour.