Forget ‘Giant Mutant Rats’, Plague Of ‘Super-Smart Mice’ To Hit UK


Just when you were adjusting to the news that giant mutant rats will be invading your home this winter, they now go and tell us there will be some rather clever mice joining them as well. This is good news that just keeps on giving…

A pest control expert has warned households across the UK to ignore the ‘super rat’ tabloid scaremongering after revealing the new menace is in fact the ‘super-smart mouse.’ Be afraid, be very afraid.

The mice are taking up Tom and Jerry-esque avoidance tactics, refusing to enter boxes or traps, and won’t eat bait which has been tainted with poison to eradicate them. The bastards!

Chairman of the National Pest Technician’s Association, Iain Turner, said they are coming across some ‘very strange’ populations of ‘clever’ mice in Britain.


Adding that this new house mice population seem to be surviving on a high-protein diet, with help from leftovers from fast-food restaurants. If there ever was a reason to demolish all of your takeaway, than let this be another on the list.

He gave some pretty sound advice too, telling home-owners to ensure that air bricks are sealed up to prevent the little critters getting into your domain.

Batten down the hatches, it’s going to be a long winter.