There are a lot of appropriate things to talk about on your first date.
Where you went to school, your family, your favourite band, to name a few.
The fact that you kill people for a living probably isn’t one of them.
One guy joked about exactly that on a Tinder date, and it ended up pretty much how you’d expect: Badly.
Reddit user Immortalsnail explained:
We meet up at a restaurant and get to talking. [Things] are going great, she thinks I’m funnier in person (when does that ever happen?!).
So after the food arrives the conversation turns a little more towards how we met (pay close attention and you will spot my mistake). She states she’s glad I’m normal and not some sort of serial killer.
Now I could have just laughed… I could have but I was funny remember? I replied with: “Oh thanks for thinking I’m normal! But I actually am a serial killer, bodies for days buried out at the farm.”
She laughed, I laughed, I thought I did great at making it sound sarcastic.
Then his date excused herself and headed for the bathroom. After taking a questionably long time, he began to worry that she had bailed and left him stuck with the bill.
But that wasn’t the case.
My luck was worse as police officers suddenly appear out of nowhere and tell me to keep both of my hands visible on the table.
At this point I’m confused, this must be a joke. I see my date coming with a staff member and get ready for Ashton Kutcher to appear, no such luck.
The police ask if it’s me and she says ya, the cops get me to stand up and handcuff me and walk me out, not a single person seems to want to answer any of my questions.
I’m in the car and the police are outside talking to my date for a few minutes when they get into the car with me and ask me if I told my date I was a serial killer, areyoufuckingkiddingme…
I tell them yes but I was joking.
So that derailed my plans, I spent the next 5-6 hours explaining myself over and over and over that I was kidding.
I guess eventually they either believed me or got tired of hearing me speak much to my lawyers disapproval (to me speaking) and let me go and reminded me that my jokes suck.
He ended by saying he’s ‘excited to find out’ how the second date will go.
Either that’ll be an interesting story to tell the kids, or he’s dreaming…
That girl has probably run for the hills by now.