unilad
Advert
Advert
Advert
Advert

Guy Pays $3.7M To Have Sex With Megan Fox, Has Terrible Time

by : Tom Percival on : 21 Jul 2016 10:34
megan_fox_bonnet_transformers_hot_moviemegan_fox_bonnet_transformers_hot_movieParamount Pictures

A not too bright businessman looking for love in all the wrong places says he was conned out of a small fortune by an escort agency, which promised to hook him up with Megan Fox and other A-list stars.

Yu ‘Martin’ Xu claims to have paid $3.7 million to the Sydney-based agency Royal Court Escort for ‘sexual services’ from Megan Fox, Independence Day actress Angelababy, and Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel.

Unsurprisingly, none of the stars turned up, leaving the naive Xu so furious that he decided to sue Royal Court Escorts to try and get his cash back, The Daily Mail reports.

Advert
angelababyangelababyInstagram - Angelababy

Mr Xu’s statement of claim said:

It was agreed that if (Mr Xu) paid the sum of $3.7 million (the agency) would provide Megan Fox, Candice Swanepoel and ‘Angelababy’ as escorts for sexual services.

Incredibly though, rather than hold their hands up and say ‘yeah we tricked him,’ Royal Court Escorts are actually defending their claim, although they’re yet to submit a defence.

Advert
Candice SwanepoelCandice Swanepoel Candice Swanepoel Instagram

Assuming they actually have a defence and aren’t just scrambling for time, I’d love to read their statement.

Here’s a hypothetical one they could use if their lawyers are struggling: 

 Your honour, we totally have Megan Fox, Angelababy and Candice Swanepoel on our books, you just can’t see them because they go to another school and you won’t know it.

In fact they’re in Canada, along with that girlfriend we all had when we were teenagers who we met on holiday. You won’t know her either.

Advert

Seriously though, how the hell did this guy manage to become a millionaire if he’s so easily tricked? Did he not stop and think these three women with super successful careers don’t need to take on a side career in escorting?

Maybe we should let him take a look at these magic beans we’ve got in the office. They’ll make a great investment…

Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism. Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV. He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.

Topics: News

Credits

Daily Mail
  1. Daily Mail

    Man sues escort agency after claiming he was stood up after paying millions for 'sexual services' with actresses and supermodels like Megan Fox and Candice Swanepoel