Guy Writes Letter To Mayor Complaining Because He Has To See Homeless People

by : Tom Percival on : 18 Feb 2016 18:15

Bad news for Martin Shkreli and Kanye West – there’s a new contender for the ‘crown of dicks’, a prestigious prize awarded to the year’s biggest ball bag.


The latest ignorant bastard to enter the ring for the coveted award is Justin Keller, a San Francisco tech entrepreneur, who wrote an open letter to his local mayor.

In the letter, he complained about the homeless, claiming that they’re turning the city into an ‘unsafe’ and filthy ‘shanty town’, the Washington Post reports.

Now before you think we’re being harsh on this guy, take the time to read his letter – he’s basically a selfish moron who manages to dehumanise the poor and unfortunate, while also demonstrating a total lack of sympathy for those going through difficult times.


His letter reads:

I know people are frustrated about gentrification happening in the city, but the reality is, we live in a free market society.

The wealthy working people have earned their right to live in the city. They went out, got an education, work hard, and earned it. I shouldn’t have to worry about being accosted. I shouldn’t have to see the pain, struggle, and despair of homeless people to and from my way to work every day.

To be fair to Keller, he does make some pretty serious allegations about the homeless including a ‘homeless drunken man’ leaning against his parents’ car, plus a high person yelling about cocaine who then went to pull down his pants just as Keller and his parents were leaving a fancy restaurant.

homeless 1homeless 1Wikimedia

Finally, a drunk guy barged into the cinema where he and his girlfriend were enjoying a film before taking a nap.

Sure, all of this is annoying but, seriously, this guy needs to get some perspective.

His letter went down about as well as a fart at a funeral and was widely rebuked, especially within San Francisco, where tech workers are being blamed for sky-rocketing rents which is pretty much causing the homeless problem he seems to hate.

Meanwhile on social media, a deluge of critics have accused Keller of arrogance and insensitivity, not to mention ignoring his own industry’s alleged role in the city’s homelessness crisis.


He did, however, have one supporter.

Eventually, he caved under the criticism and added a footnote to his open letter saying: “I want to apologize for using the term riff raff. It was insensitive and counterproductive.”

Don’t worry though, we’re only two months into 2016 and we’re pretty confident that Shkreli’s still got time to rally and remain a dead a cert to win the ‘dick crown’ this year…

Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism. Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV. He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.

Topics: News


Washington Post
  1. Washington Post

    S.F. ‘tech bro’ writes open letter to mayor: ‘I shouldn’t have to see the pain, struggle, and despair of homeless people’, ‘riff raff’