Here’s Why Satanic Temple Are P*ssed Off With U.S. Presidential Hopeful

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FREDERICK, MD - APRIL 21: Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) campaigns at the Weinberg Theater April 21, 2016 in Frederick, Maryland. Maryland and four other northeastern states hold their primaries next Tuesday. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)Getty

Turns out that contrary to popular wisdom Satanists are actually quite a sensitive lot, especially when it comes to portrayals of their dark lord and saviour Satan.

According to Raw Story a number of Satanists are outraged that the former speaker for the American house of representatives, John Boehner, described potential Republican candidate, Ted Cruz, as ‘Lucifer in the flesh’.

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Funnily enough the Satanists actually agree with Boehner’s sentiments they just believe that there’s no way Cruz is the real living incarnation of Satan.

Satanic Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves bashed Cruz in a statement to the Friendly Atheist.

Ted Cruz Campaigns In Maryland Ahead Of PrimaryGetty

It read:

Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith…

It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.

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Of course the Satanist Temple aren’t actually real blood stone circle worshipping Satanists, instead they sound like a bunch of pretty cool guys.

The Temple is a collection of humanists who reject religion and instead promote passion and reason, using Satan as a metaphorical figurehead for their group because he represents ‘the eternal rebel’.

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To be fair with the line up of Republican candidates and some of their right wing views Satan would probably be a better choice of candidate, even if he campaigned on the whole thousand years of darkness platform.

That said, if you Google Lucifer2016.com your in for a dark surprise…


Tom Percival

Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism. Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV. He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.