Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond And James May Still Haven’t Named Their New Programme


The Top Gear lads are still debating what they should call their new show and it seems they’re getting more and more desperate as time goes on.

In the latest teaser for their upcoming Amazon car show Clarkson, Hammond and May sit in their London office debating the name of their new programme, and it’s clear that the incompetent trio still don’t have the foggiest what they’re going to call it.


As they sit in complete silence, heads in their hands, Hammond reads an email from ‘Jeff’ – presumably Jeff Bezos Amazon’s CEO – demanding they get on with naming the show.

Trying to please their increasingly less patient boss, May tries his hand at some blue skies thinking and attempts to invent his own slang expression by calling the show Ace Biscuits, because then people will say the programme is ‘ace biscuits’, apparently.


As I’m sure you can imagine that idea goes down like a lead balloon, leading Clarkson to suggest copying Amazon and name it after a river, more specifically his favourite river, Erewash.


Unfortunately, while the three kind of like the idea they soon get distracted by the idea of car configurators and designing their own Ray Bans, so it’s technically called The STILL Very Much Untitled Clarkson, Hammond and May Amazon Prime Show.

Meanwhile, the Huffington Post reports that Jeremy Clarkson is genuinely struggling to come up with a name for the show.

He said: 

Every morning, I’d make a £7,000 call to the lawyer with an idea, and every afternoon I’d get a £7,000 reply saying the name was already in use by someone in New Zealand or France or Ukraine. Prime Torque. Autonation. Skid Mark. Everything was a no-no.


More irritatingly for Clarkson, the Beeb own not only Top Gear but every name that sounds similar so they can’t go with their favourite Gear Knobs.

The car programme is coming out this Autumn and will be competing with the BBC’s Top Gear.

If they’re still struggling for a name they could use our suggestion Please Don’t Hit Anyone Jeremy.