Ah, Magikarp – it’s like God spilled a Pokemon. This flaccid fishy mess is only tolerated by trainers because it will one day evolve into a mighty Gyrados.
It’s a tragic state of affairs, and I can’t help but feel sorry for the little guy. While kids run out to buy Pikachu toys or fight as Charizard in games like Pokken and Smash Bros., Magikarp just splashes around, alone and unloved.
Perhaps The Pokemon Company realised it was time to show Magikarp a bit of love, which is why it has released the official song; ‘I Love Magikarp’.
The song is in Japanese, but according to the translation from Kantopia, it’s all about how Magikarp isn’t any less loved, despite how shit it is (I’m not sure how true that is).
It then goes on to detail how Magikarp basically just flops around, wherever it happens to be, and how you can find a Magikarp wherever there is water (even puddles).
The song also talks us through how a Magikarp can and will evolve into Gyrados one day, finally becoming a worthy member of a party of six.
Oh, and there’s also a line about how Magikarp is sometimes just carried off by bird Pokemon against its will.
Here are the translated lyrics, anyway:
Helpless and pathetic
Famous for being incredibly weak
Was it extremely powerful in ancient times? There are legends that say so, but
Today it’s extremely weak. So weak that it makes you cry!
The weak Pokémon Magikarp, the weakest of them all
The weak Pokémon Magikarp, so shockingly weak
Splashing about, always splashing
It can splash and splash up and through entire mountains
Why does it splash? Splashing for no reason, splashing even in battle with no purpose
Splashing in rhythm, on and on, and sometimes getting caught by a Pidgeotto!
The splashing Pokémon Magikarp, splashing the most of them all
The splashing Pokémon Magikarp, always jumping with a “flop flop!”
You can first encounter it anywhere
Using an old rod will make you fish out way too many
The sea, river, or even a dirty puddle –It will be found swimming in any body of water
It paddles along regardless of if the river is calm or flowing
If you manage to catch one: “Catch and release?” will probably cross your mind soon
If you manage to catch one: “Catch and eat?” What nonsense!
Even when it is shiny, with a golden color
It is still exactly the same on the inside
When it evolves into Gyarados, it becomes super strong. But waiting until then is really tough!
That old guy sold it for 500P! And with no refunds!
The unfortunate Pokémon Magikarp, it gets booed even when trying to help people
The unfortunate Pokémon Magikarp, nowhere near the top ranks
My Pokémon Magikarp, the one I’ll still continue to raise!
My Pokémon Magikarp, I’ll raise a party of six and fight with them!
The Magikarp we love, the one we love most in the world
The Magikarp I love, I dedicate this love song to you!
So that’s Magikarp in a nutshell really – just make sure you treat it right while you can, or it’ll probably eat your face off when it becomes Gyrados.
Ewan Moore is a journalist at UNILAD Gaming who still quite hasn’t gotten out of his mid 00’s emo phase. After graduating from the University of Portsmouth in 2015 with a BA in Journalism & Media Studies (thanks for asking), he went on to do some freelance words for various places, including Kotaku, Den of Geek, and TheSixthAxis, before landing a full time gig at UNILAD in 2016.