Man Fights For Right To Sign His Name With A Dick

hyams-1revJared Hyams

A man who wants to use a doodle of a dick as his signature is battling officials for the right to use his weird mark.

Mashable report that Jared Hyams from Melbourne, Australia, has been fighting with authorities to be allowed to use his signature, which appears to be a quick drawing of a cock and balls.

Hyams says that he chose his signature on a ‘whim’. He claims that after moving house a few times and being forced to sign a shit tonne of forms he began to wonder if anyone actually bothered to check the signature.

hyams-2Jared Hymes

He explained: “I thought, ‘I wonder if they even check this?’ – so one year I just put a line through the box, and nothing happened.” However, when he moved again and was given more forms to sign, he thought: “Why does it matter what I do, what my mark could be – so I did that drawing.”

That’s when shit hit the fan, he explained that the Australian Electoral Commission (AEC) were not pleased with his chosen signature and said he couldn’t use it.

Hyams asked the AEC why he couldn’t use the dick pic, and they explained that it wasn’t a legitimate signature and that he hadn’t signed it properly.

But he stuck to his guns and claimed that the doodle was his signature, saying: “I had a feeling I was right. Five years later, I now know I am. I was right all along.”

hyams-3Jared Hymes

He detailed how he went about adopting the signature:

At the time I thought what else is my signature on, passports, bank cards … so I went through the process of changing my signature on everything…. I thought, I will adopt this as my signature for everything.

Local officials were reportedly ‘taken aback’ by Hyams’ new signature, and according to him: “They were sure that I couldn’t have it on my driver’s license.”

australian-man-penis-signature_0042Sydney Morning Herald

Hyams soon ran into trouble, though, when he managed to slip his signature in for a driver’s license, but he didn’t receive the license, which he hoped would be automatically processed and sent to him.

Thinking something was up, he rang their call centre and asked about the license, and found that his address details didn’t match those in the system. He believes that officials changed his details so that it didn’t get sent to him automatically.

penis drawingA recreation of the signature in Microsoft Paint - Tom Percival, 2016

However, local officials disagree and say they rejected the signature because it was an offensive image, and could be easily copied, according to The Age.

Hyams fought the decision twice in court, but was thrown out both times. Eventually, though, his ‘dick signature’ made its way through the system, and he now has a license with the signature.

And the AEC, who initially refused Hyams’ unique signature, also processed his voter registration eventually, so it seems that a doodle of a dick may be his new official signature.