For years the debate has raged on – is there a higher divine power guiding mankind or are we an accident of random chance? Well, thankfully the debate has finally been settled… by some snails.
The Huffington Post reports that Wayne Propst, from East Texas, was digging in his aunt’s garden when he found what may be one of the most shocking discoveries of all time. Hard empirical evidence of the biblical Noah’s flood.
You see, Wayne discovered some snail fossils this week, which he claims are from the Biblical deluge which God supposedly used to wipe out all the wicked people on planet Earth.
Obviously though, being a rational kind of guy, Wayne needed proof of his own random guesses and wanted scientific verification for his discovery, probably so all the stupid disbelievers couldn’t argue that he just found some ordinary snail fossils. Which he totally didn’t, he found biblical ones, there’s a difference.
To this end, Wayne sent an email to the self-proclaimed fossil expert Joe Taylor, a curator of the Mt. Blanco Fossil Museum, which boldly states on its web page: “We want to show you why we do not believe that the evolution theory or the millions of years concept is good science.”
Taylor, despite having never seen the fossils, did what all good scientists do and immediately verified them as proof of God’s wrath. So that’s that settled then.
Wayne has now been showing off his incredible discovery on his local TV station KYTX.
He told them:
From Noah’s flood to my front yard, how much better can it get?
Now Propst and his aunt Sharon have been sweeping the rest of the garden in search of other biblical artifacts.
Aunt Sharon added:
To think that, like he says, that we have something in our yard that dated back to when God destroyed the earth. I mean, how much better could anything be?
Personally, I believe Wayne and I’ve got a few biblical artifacts myself that he may want to buy, including a fleck of paint from the Garden of Eden’s back gate, a rock that God accidentally made on the day he was supposed to be resting, and a lock of hair from the monkey that we definitely never evolved from…
More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.
Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.
He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.