Man Tells Wife Not To Spoil Star Wars, Shit Hits The Fan
star wars force webYou might not be the biggest Star Wars fan on the planet, but everyone knows, you have to be a serious kind of idiot to go and spoiler the film.
In fact, spoiling anything from Game of Thrones and Jon Snow’s future to a film or book is pretty much a no-no.
That’s why one man tried and failed to explain that to his wife, and it caused an almighty rift in their relationship.
Naturally, he took to Reddit’s TIFU (Today I F*cked Up) thread to tell all.
So the story goes like this:
So we saw Star Wars with a couple friends this evening, and went out for some drinks afterwards. While sipping our drinks, we discussed the movie and our reactions. While doing so, our neighbor (who hasn’t seen the movie yet) texts the wife asking how the movie was.
So my wife writes a response text which is “Excellent, ” where there is a massive spoiler inserted in the <>. She shows us what she’s writing on her phone, we laugh and say, “Don’t send.” thinking she is joking.
It gets kind of quiet, and I very calmly tell her that was a dick move, in front of everyone. The neighbor instantly responds with some very PC sad texts. Like “Major bummer did you really just tell me the truth? :(((((((((”
She tries to laugh it off, our friends kind of laugh it off. Then the texts keep coming. This is our neighbor who feeds our pet for us while we’re out on vacation, so we know her pretty well. Wife shows another text, worse than bummer one, and tries to laugh it off again. I again say it was really a dick move and we should probably just apologize tomorrow, again in front of everyone, and she unhinges. She explodes about how she doesn’t care, tells me to get a cab ride home, and leaves me there.
Our friends kind of do the awkward ‘sip of the drink’, and I strike up a conversation about something unrelated to move it on. I hang out with the friends for another hour or so, one gives me a ride home, and that’s that.
Except it isn’t.
I get home, see the wife is asleep, and then go outside to apologize to the neighbor. When my neighbor answers her door, she is obviously sad, and when I apologize for the text she starts tearing up and making excuses for my wife. I say sure, it may be true the wife is not a die-hard Star Wars fan and may not understand these things, but she shouldn’t ruin the movie for you, and gave several good not-spoiler reasons to still see the movie.
I get back into our place, and the wife is up, because obviously she wasn’t sleeping. We argue and we fight, mostly because “I embarrassed her in front of people by saying it was a dick move”. Normally to keep a balance I will concede on some of these things, but I stuck to my guns that she should apologize to our neighbor the next day. The wife doesn’t want to, plays the victim card about how we already bought our neighbor a christmas present, and it gets pretty ugly from there on out. Divorce is threatened, lots of back and forth, and I’m on the couch, writing this.
I fucked up by saying it’s a dick move to spoil Star Wars, in front of our friends.
Really though, it was a dick move.