Police Looking For Owner Of The One Ring Don’t Realise It Belongs To Sauron
North Yorkshire Police have been given a weighty burden to bear, and I for one fear for their journey ahead.
Officers took to Facebook to share a photograph of a silver ring, inscribed with intricate elvish lettering. Although beautiful upon first glance, those of us well versed in Middle-earth lore cannot help but feel a sense of foreboding.
The ring in question was recovered along with property stolen during a house burglary in York back in February 2019. Like many brave souls before them, officers have so far been unsuccessful in getting the ring safely back to its proper place.
In the post by North Yorkshire Police, Detective Constable Pete Wilson from York Investigation Hub said:
Unfortunately we haven’t been able to find the owner of the ring and return it to them. As it is such a distinctive piece of jewellery, we’re hoping that someone will recognise the markings and be able to tell us who it rightfully belongs to, as I’m sure someone, somewhere is missing it.
Of course, as many of us are all too aware, officers will need to ensure the ring ends up with a bearer with a disciplined mind; one who can withstand its power long enough to lob it into the fires of Mordor without losing their humanity.
As any staunch Lord of The Rings fan will be undoubtedly aware, The One Ring can corrupt even the purest of hearts; devouring both wizard and hobbit alike with its dark and mysterious dominion.
And yet – as has been the case since the War of the Elves – there have been those bold enough to try and possess it as their own, perhaps tempted by the ring’s anti-ageing properties and the corrosive siren call of world-conquering power.
One woman responded to the post to claim the ring as her husband’s, alleging he had lost the ring years ago.
Now, I’ve had a cheeky look at her Facebook page and her husband is called Andrew, not Sauron. But this doesn’t mean we should rest easy in our hobbit holes just yet.
Here’s hoping officers remain vigilant. After all, if a particularly tall bloke with an extreme case of conjunctivitis rocks up to York Police Station, every one of us will be meat on an Orc’s menu before the week is out…
Those with any information that could assist police enquiries should contact North Yorkshire Police and pass the information to the Force Control Room, quoting reference 12190025061.
You can also email officers are [email protected] Crimestoppers can be contacted anonymously on 0800 555 111.
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